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Aug 29, 2017 · An origin story worthy of a hero. Like most memes, Chuck Norris Facts were a happy accident. Another actor—not Chuck Norris—was the impetus, Ian Spector, the godfather of the Norris facts ...
I always thought the point of Chuck Norris jokes was to show contempt of the man. Just like all the claims of NK media about Kim Jung Il was laughable (like him putting -38 under par on a golf course first time out) or that last election of Saddam with him getting 99%+ of the vote isn't believable to anybody with half-a-brain.
- 15 First Men on The Moon? Pfft. Chuck Beat Apollo 11 to It
- 14 No Life on Mars? Thank Chuck
- 13 Chuck Norris Can't Be Denied
- 12 Chuck Norris Doesn't Dial Wrong Numbers—You Answer The Wrong Phone
- 11 Chuck Just Made A Withdrawal
- 10 You Better Have Some Sugar For Chuck
- 9 Superman Once Lost A Bet to Chuck
- 8 Chuck Deflowered The Virgin Islands
- 7 Chuck Comes from Equally Savage Stock
- 6 The Boogeyman's Scared of Chuck Norris
That’s right. So much for Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin creating the first boot prints on the moon—Chuck already laid his treads on the lunar surface before them, so eat Chuck’s dust, Apollo 11 astronauts! The history books need correction! Chuck planted his flag on the moon way before NASA was born. And Chuck never needed any fancy spacesuit or r...
There was once life on Mars. It’s top secret stuff—there’s a bunch of yellowing papers in a vault buried deep at NASA headquarters somewhere outlining 'Chuck’s Top Secret Mission to Mars to Save Earth.' Chuck’s not talking, but insiders tell us that Chuck orbited effortlessly to Mars, while doing roundhouse kicks, many moons ago and the martian inh...
When Chuck Norris calls, you better answer the damn phone because if you don’t, you don’t want to know what’s coming. Don’t let his calls go to voicemail. There's no screening when it comes to Chuck! Remember: when Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn’t push himself up but he forces the Earth down. And when there’s a meteor shower, Chuck grabs a ba...
When Chuck Norris punches out a phone number—and we mean punch like jabs, right crosses and left hooks—he always hits his numbers right, no matter what. And if you happen to answer Chuck’s call and he’s not looking for you, it’s certainly not his fault because it’s impossible for Chuck Norris to ever dial a wrong number. This is proven by Chuck Nor...
Did you know that the Big Bang was really caused by the momentum of Chuck Norris’ very first roundhouse kick, back when he existed as a wee atom before time and space began? Scientists know that this 'Chuck Norris Theory of the Universe' is too outrageous to be believed, so they made up this ‘theory of evolution’ and ‘molecular Big Bang theory’ stu...
Chuck likes to bake from time to time, just like the rest of us. He’ll sometimes tie an apron on, take out his flour and mixing bowls and make his supercharged protein paleo carrot muffins recipe. Do not, however, be fooled into thinking that Chuck’s sweet like your grandma just because he’s got his ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron on. He can still kick your ...
Have you ever wondered about Superman’s silly outfit and questioned the logic of his ensemble consisting of a flowing red cape, a clingy blue full-body onesie and bright red briefs on the outside? It really is a fashion faux pas. Well, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for Superman’s permanent status on the universe’s worst-dressed list: Supe...
We have no idea how Chuck Norris managed to deflower the Virgin Islands, nor are we sure that we really want to imagine it—we only know this to be a true fact and that it happened because the Chuck Norris meme universe says so. How can we doubt it? After all, when Chuck’s daughter lost her virginity, he found it and got it back, right? If Chuck Nor...
Even though Chuck caused the Big Bang through the sheer force of his lightning fast martial arts moves and also existed as an infinite degree black belt atomic molecule before time and space began—he still has relatives and a grandmother, like everyone else. How else could he truly come into being? He had to come from the loins of someone. The answ...
The Boogeyman is that monster hiding under our beds and in our closets that we’ve never actually seen but always knowis around. He’s who we look for when we first come home and check behind the shower curtain, in all the closets and under the beds to make sure he’s not to be found anywhere. We never find him when we check, of course, but we know th...
Apr 10, 2024 · Chuck Norris Jokes Are Forever Classic (17 GIFs) by: Hendy. In: Awesome, Funny Pictures, Humor. Apr 10, 2024. 3412 20 0. GIF. For YEARS Chuck Norris jokes have made people chuckle. The idea that this man is the toughest son of a bitch on the planet isn’t THAT far-fetched, but it can get a little bit silly, can’t it?
Jan 28, 2020 · Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch a cyclops between the eye. Tom Brady can throw a football over 60 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Tom Brady even further. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
Jul 19, 2021 · Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends. When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him ...
Aug 24, 2023 · For decades, Norris stunned fans with his strength and onscreen stunts—so much that “Chuck Norris facts” became an internet phenomenon, with people creating increasingly outlandish claims about just how powerful Chuck Norris really is (he even compiled his favorites in a 2009 book ). Today Norris is 83, and his power and stamina—as well ...
