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- The meaning of HARD FEELINGS is feelings of dislike or anger toward someone that you think has mistreated you —The phrase no hard feelings is used in speech to say that you are not upset or to ask if someone else is upset..
www.merriam-webster.com › dictionary › hard%20feelings
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How do you know if your feelings are hard?
How do you deal with hard feelings?
How do you embrace difficult feelings?
- Turn toward your emotions with acceptance. Once you become aware of the emotion you are feeling, notice where it is in your body. You may feel it as a stomachache, a tightening of your throat, the pounding of your heart, or tension somewhere.
- Identify and label the emotion. Instead of saying, “I am angry”, say, “This is anger” or, “This is anxiety.” In this way, you’re acknowledging its presence, while simultaneously empowering you to remain detached from it.
- Accept your emotions. When you are feeling a certain emotion, don’t deny it. Acknowledge and accept that the emotion is present, whether it is anxiety, grief, sadness, or whatever you are experiencing in that moment.
- Realize the impermanence of your emotions. Every one of your emotions is impermanent. They arise and reside within you for a time, and then disappear.
Feb 5, 2024 · It can be hard. Some feelings are painful and uncomfortable to feel. I would much rather move to problem-solving, something I am good at and that can often be useful.
- Overview
- Why Is Everything So Much Harder For Me?
- Acknowledging the Impact of Personal Challenges
- Exploring Societal and External Factors
- What to Do When Life Gets Hard
- Finding Meaning and Moving Forward
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There's no denying that life can feel truly overwhelming these days. If you're feeling like the challenges you're facing are too much, you're certainly not alone.
As of 2020, 65% of adults in the United States stated they were stressed, specifically by the current circumstances in our country. That’s 2 in 3 adults, meaning the majority of folks are feeling pretty uncertain about their life and future.
In the 2023 version of that same survey, the majority of participants placed their stress levels between a 5 and a 10 on a scale of 1-10. Everyone seems to be a bit stressed out for one reason or another, largely due to the ongoing fallout from the COVID-19 pandemic and general anxiety about security and the future.
And, likely, your stressors aren’t even related to current societal issues, but they could be exacerbated by them. Life is inevitably hard at times and is full of ups and downs, but if you’re feeling like your life is consistently difficult, this article is for you.
We’ll explore the factors that contribute to personal hardship, societal issues that don’t help, strategies for overcoming life’s challenges, and how to find meaning amid chaos.
You might find yourself pondering why everything feels so hard. Perhaps you’re comparing yourself to your peers and are noticing that they don’t seem to be experiencing the same level of anguish. There can be many reasons for this.
First, everyone’s journey is different. Just because your peers don’t seem to be struggling right now, they may be facing challenges privately. Alternatively, they may simply be in a different season of life than you. The phrase comparison is the thief of joy holds some weight in this situation, so the best way to begin to get back on track is to keep your eyes on your own paper.
If anything, the fact that things are feeling hard in the face of change can be an indicator that you’re working to change your behavior and that is a process that, by design, isn’t easy.
There’s a myriad of factors that can contribute to life feeling singularly harder for us than for others. First, we may be in a developmental phase of our life that involves a big change—because change, even under the best of circumstances, is seldom easy. This could be going away to college, changing jobs, getting married, having children, getting divorced, or even having your adult children move out. Part of why change is so hard is because it involves us changing our behavior.
Research shows that changing our behavior isn’t a linear process. Instead, it is one full of clumsy starts and stops, leaps in progress only to regress to former behaviors quickly. Don’t let this discourage you. If anything, the fact that things are feeling hard in the face of change can be an indicator that you’re working to change your behavior and that is a process that, by design, isn’t easy. This all being said, let’s dig deeper into how there are how personal challenges and societal factors are adding to the difficulties of life.
What Does It Mean to Feel Overwhelmed?
We’d be remiss to speak about this feeling of life being extraordinarily difficult without acknowledging how personal challenges impact hardship. We all have different circumstances that can increase the intensity of our hardships.
The first is familial dysfunction. If you’re a survivor of childhood trauma, knee-deep in navigating problematic relationships with family members, or are estranged from family, this can feel profoundly challenging. Not only can these factors lead to feelings of loneliness and shame—they can also spike jealousy if you notice those around you have strong familial support.
Another circumstance that can increase the intensity of life feeling hard is interpersonal issues. For example, you may be navigating a break-up or have lost someone you loved. Alternatively, you may find yourself gridlocked in conflict with your boss.
We need—and thrive—in community. Without community, we may suffer from social isolation or loneliness. Turns out, social isolation and loneliness can even contribute to adverse health outcomes. A recent study found loneliness in older adults to lead to poor sleep, and metabolic, neural, and hormonal issues.
We are coming off the heels of a pandemic into economic turmoil and ongoing oppressive policies that suppress the rights of BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities. For those living with chronic illness, the concept of the pandemic being finished may be infuriating, since COVID-19 is an ongoing threat to the immunocompromised.
Financial stressors have only been exacerbated by looming student loans, economic inflation, and whispers of a recession underway. The suppression of civil rights might have you fearing for the safety of yourself and your loved ones.
So, perhaps you know why life is feeling hard. Now it is time to consider what can help when feeling this way.
It’s common to feel full of rage when you’re in this headspace. In fact, it may even feel like you’ve hit your breaking point and are deeply angry. “Your anger is trying to tell you something,” muses Demeestere. “When you become curious about your anger, you are less likely to take it out on others or try to numb it through compulsions and addictions,” she explains.
It isn’t easy navigating the painful ups and downs of life. Yet, there can be meaning in the challenges you experience. In fact, some therapy modalities specifically look at how your past is shaping your present, making meaning out of the hardships you’ve overcome. No one should ever have to hurt as a way to gain wisdom and no one should be subject to abuse, poverty, and systemic oppression.
Consider how you can use your anger, frustration, and sadness to propel yourself forward. Make art that moves others, consider how you can be the helping hand you need to another person, and dig into the storytelling of your life. Imagine what story you want to tell with this current chapter and then write the ending you long for.
4 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
1.American Psychological Association. Stress in America 2020: A National Mental Health Crisis.
2.American Psychological Association. Stress in America 2023.
Jun 17, 2021 · If it’s hard to identify a feeling, you could focus on sensations in your body first. Is there any tension or stress there? Sensations in the body can often be clues about our feelings, like...
- The feeling hasn’t yet crystallized. In these instances, you’re just beginning to feel something but it hasn’t yet come into focus. It’s not yet identifiable.
- You’re experiencing more than a single feeling, and they’re oddly “fused.” Here you’re beset by more than one emotion at once, and it may feel confusing for you can’t separate or distinguish between them.
- It’s a feeling—or amalgam of feelings—that can’t be identified because the English language has no name for it. The “what’s-this-feeling?” phenomenon is somewhat new to the literature on emotions, but it’s become increasingly widespread.
- You’ve never had this feeling before. Children often can’t recognize what they’re feeling because they’ve not yet reached a level of development where they can transcribe their physical sensations into understandable feeling names.
Jul 19, 2021 · Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: “Your feelings don’t matter. Your feelings are wrong.” Emotional...
Oct 12, 2020 · Feelings signal how we are reading the environment, and they are designed to mobilize and drive an adaptive behavioral response. Positive emotions (such as excitement, joy, attraction, pride,...
