Zbigniew Cybulski
Wiktor Rawicz
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May 30, 2024 · Everyone needs to be loved, but sometimes being loved isn’t so easy. If you’re having a tough time finding the love you need, start by working on building your own self-esteem, which will help you accept the love that you deserve.
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Feb 22, 2019 · Curiosity, attention, compassion, and kindness, practiced as ways of honoring ourselves, allow us to develop a loving relationship with ourselves. And once we learn to love ourselves, to treat ...
- Listen. How can you love someone if you don't even know them? Offer your lover the gift of being an attentive, open listener. Carolina Pataky, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, marriage therapist and co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute, tells mbg that it's important to stay present during your conversations with your significant other.
- Use your words. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, tells mbg that one way to express love is surprisingly simple: Just tell them.
- Say thank you. Research has demonstrated so many mental and physical benefits of gratitude, and that extends to romantic relationships too. Take the time to thank the person you love, even for "little" things, such as taking out the trash and doing the dishes.
- Express interest. Expressing interest in someone's life is a timeless way to show your love, and it's a vital form of connection. This is one of the key findings of researchers John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, whose work at The Gottman Institute has pioneered popular frameworks for marriage therapy.
- Be more easygoing on the road. Let someone cut ahead. Give that aggressive driver a genuine smile, a wave, and let it – and them – go. They get that small victory they're clearly so desperate for, and you can enjoy the feeling of not being quite as wound up as they must be!
- Connect with others, even if it’s just for a moment. It can be with strangers on the street or with your coworker sitting next to you. For example, if you commute to work on a train, look up from your phone and pause for a second to actually look the conductor in the eye when they take your ticket.
- Share a laugh. Be it with the guy who sells you your weekly lottery ticket, the cashier at the grocery store, or your elderly neighbor, breaking the monotony of the day with an unexpected laugh is a simple but powerful act of kindness, humanity, and connection.
- Smile like you mean it, and eventually you will. Though sometimes it may seem like a Herculean effort, the simple act of smiling is an instant mood booster and attitude re-adjuster for you.
- Commit to Your Relationship. Decide that you are going to be in the relationship; that you are going to work toward its growth; that you will nourish it to the best of your ability.
- Invest Time. The workaholic who works 60 hours a week might say, “I love my family so much. I’m working hard to provide for them.” That’s not love. Remember, love is not a feeling; it’s not words.
- Communicate Your Love. There are countless and effective ways to do this. When my husband notices I’m in a hurry, he makes the bed for me in order to give me a few additional minutes in the morning.
- Be Spontaneous. Relationships can fall into ruts. Years together can dull the excitement felt in the beginning when everything is new. It doesn’t have to stay that way.
The first step to feeling more loved is creating close relationships, and that starts with meaningful, engaged conversations. These don’t necessarily need to be deep and spiritual in nature. They just need to be honest, authentic, and reciprocal.
