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- Season 5 overviewSep 4-Nov 20, 201313 episodesSeason 5 episodes1. The Bachelor Draft Sep 4, 2013
- The guys travels to Los Angeles for Andre and Trixie's destination wedding.
- 2. The Von Nowzick Wedding Sep 11, 2013
- The wedding weekend continues; Andre's parents are introduced; Ruxin wrestles J.J. Watt.
- 3. Chalupa vs. The Cutlet Sep 18, 2013
- Pete tries to cheer up Andre with a little help from Snoop Dogg; Taco gives up control of his team.
- 4. Rafi and Dirty Randy Sep 25, 2013
- Rafi and Dirty Randy try to avenge their friends death and break into the mainstream porn business.
- 5. The Bye Week Oct 2, 2013
- Ruxin misses his flight for a business trip; Taco Corp. gets its first worldwide headquarters.
- 6. Heavy Petting Oct 9, 2013
- Taco Corp. starts a petting zoo business; Jenny tries to get the family to adopt a healthier life.
- 7. The Bringer Show Oct 16, 2013
- Andre takes a stand up class; Jenny joins a women's investment club; Pete plays Ruxin.
- 8. Flowers For Taco Oct 23, 2013
- Chalupa Batman's first words cause fantasy friction between Kevin and Jenny.
- 9. The Automatic Faucet Oct 30, 2013
- Pete's lineups at work are out-performing his fantasy roster; Andre makes a trade with Jenny.
- 10. The Near Death Flex-perience Nov 6, 2013
- Taco opens a pubic barber shop; Kevin's near death Flex-perience with Greg Jennings.
- 11. The Credit Card Alert Nov 13, 2013
- Ellie's basketball coach makes life tough on everyone; Pete dates a married woman.
- 12. Baby Geoffrey Jesus Nov 20, 2013
- Ruxin and Sofia battle over what religion baby Geoffrey will be; Andre tries a long con.
- 13. The 8 Defensive Points of Hanukkah Nov 20, 2013
- The Shiva and The Ruxin are on the line; Andre confronts the one plastic surgeon in Chicago.