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  1. Jan 22, 2021 · Steven Wright quotes are hilarious. Wright is an American comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He’s best known for his slow, deadpan comedy of contrived situations and delivery of ironic, non sequitur jokes, sayings, and one-liners.

  2. Discover Steven Wright famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by Steven Wright and quotations about comedy and cars. "How much deeper would the ocean be if..."

  3. Dec 6, 2022 · 67. “I have a telescope on the peephole on my door, so I can see who’s at the door for 200 miles.”. 66. “I’m going to get a tattoo over my whole body of me but taller.”. 65. “I was thinking about the new phone that I bought and the first thing I did was push redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.”.

  4. Enjoy the best Steven Wright Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Steven Wright, American Comedian, Born December 6, 1955. Share with your friends.

  5. 245 quotes from Steven Wright: 'Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.', 'If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.', and 'I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident.

  6. Jan 9, 2023 · Here is a short selection (only 107!) of the best Steven Wright quotes. Enjoy! 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. A cop stopped me for speeding.

  7. Nov 22, 2023 · Steven Wright has several jokes about sci-fi-esque ramifications that come from making copies, but this is easily my favorite. A few questions: How much ink would that have taken?

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