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  1. Karl Pilkington

    Karl Pilkington

    English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer

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    • We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. Karl Pilkington. Funny, Iron, Age.
    • I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous. Karl Pilkington.
    • It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit. Karl Pilkington. Biscuits, Lifestyle, Miles Apart.
    • I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions.
    • “[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.” ― Karl Pilkington.
    • “I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.” ― Karl Pilkington.
    • “They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop.
    • “I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me.
  1. Enjoy the best Karl Pilkington Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Karl Pilkington, British Actor, Born September 23, 1972. Share with your friends.

    • If It's A Potato Or A Nut, It's A Foodage
    • Did I Tell You About The Immune System
    • I Think There Are Some Bacteria That Have Better Lives Than That
    • It's Not A Great Wall, It's An Alright Wall; It's The Alright Wall of China
    • Keep A Couple, Fill The Rest in
    • At Some Point, Something Has Had It Away with A Leaf
    • How Can You Freeze Time
    • I've Always Wanted to Kick A Duck Up The A*Se
    • Does The Brain Control You, Or Are You Controlling The Brain
    • You Never See An Old Man Having A Twix

    Karl is typically known for telling half stories with half the information and then filling in the blanks with stories of his own making. On their podcast, Merchant, Gervais, and Pilkington were discussing monkeys (obviously) when Karl said this quote. Karl mentioned that monkeys peel potatoes and Gervais corrects him, saying that monkeys put nuts ...

    Karl’s Diary was one of the best features of the Ricky Gervais Podcast. For over a year, Karl kept a diary, allowing Ricky and Steve to pick up on more of what Karl does in his everyday life. In one particular entry, Karl recalls the time he woke one morning, turned to his girlfriend and said "did I tell you about the immune system."

    Over the years, Karl has built up a reputation for saying blunt things about other cultures and peoples, purely from his almost childlike ignorance of the world (though his travels around the world in An Idiot Abroadcertainly changed that). RELATED: 10 Quotes From Ricky Gervais’ After Life That Will Make You Think This quote in particular relates t...

    Gervais and Merchant struck gold when they managed to convince Karl to travel the world for An Idiot Abroad. His miserable, old-man attitude and ignorance of the world made for hilarious viewing. One of the more notable episodes was the first episode of the series, where Karl traveled to Chinaand traversed the entire length of the Great Wall. Howev...

    Much of the XFM radio shows and the podcast features moments where Ricky and Steve try to teach Karl something about the world, largely due to the fact that Karl doesn’t understand (or hasn’t bothered to learn about) certain things. When discussing his dislike of the volcanoes he saw on holiday, Karl suggested "keeping one" and "filling the rest in...

    As per the last entry, Karl is ignorant of certain scientific and philosophical doctrines. One of the most notable examples of this ignorance is Karl’s frequent misunderstandings of the theory of evolution. RELATED: The 10 Best British Sitcoms Of All Time When discussing how some insects have fantastic camouflage that makes them appear as leaves or...

    Stories about Karl’s girlfriend are some of the most memorable. This quote comes from an interaction Karl had with his girlfriend that, as per an earlier in this list, happened immediately after she woke up. Karl was talking to Ricky and Steve about how his brain has been too active lately and that his girlfriend got annoyed at him when, in the mor...

    The podcast series often presented Karl with thought experiments in order to both illicit Karl’s strange, hilarious responses and to educate him. One particular scenario given to Karl concerned the end of the world. RELATED: 10 British Comedy Shows That Need Worldwide Recognition When asked what he would do if the world was about to end, Karl said ...

    One of Karl’s many quotes that have interesting philosophical implications, this one is a result of Karl’s questioning whether or not he is in charge of his own thoughts. On the philosophical level, this quote relates to the clash between free will and determinism. Aside from the initial hilarity of the quote, this also shows an underlying intellig...

    The story behind this quote is incredible. On the XFM radio show, Karl was talking to Gervaisand Merchant about "things you don’t see," something that came to mind after Karl searched "why" on Google to see if he’d "confuse the computer." One of the things that Karl suggested nobody ever sees is "an old man having a Twix." What is funny about this,...

  2. Karl Pilkington's quote, "Most problems aren't really problems; they're just things you've got to do," encapsulates a refreshing perspective on the challenges one faces in life. Pilkington emphasizes that what may seem like problems are often mere tasks that need to be tackled and overcome.

  3. Apr 1, 2024 · Explore the wit and wisdom of Karl Pilkington through his hilarious and insightful quotes. From his unique perspective on life to his humorous observations, discover why Karl Pilkington has become a cult figure in the world of comedy.

  4. Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. ~ Karl's advice to chameleons. A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. I scored once, and that's only because I was being chased by a bee. ~ Karl's most vivid memory of playing football at school.

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