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Nov 18, 2007 · Being in a car crash - Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender.
Jul 11, 2003 · Swiss is one of the characters in The Fast Show. He's a middle-aged car salesman who perpetuates the myth that he is some sort of suave ladykiller, when in fact he is deeply insecure and fears he...
Swiss Toni: Created by Charlie Higson. With Emma Rydal, Charlie Higson, Rhys Thomas, Simon Day. Sitcom about an eccentric second-hand car dealer and his staff.
- Season Three, Episode One
- Season Two, Episode Two
- Season One, Episode Four
- Season One, Episode Six
Duke: Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? At a French maids finishing school? At three o'clock in the morning? With myreputation? Bingo!Duke: Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? In a student-nurses hall of residence? At three o'clock in the morning? With myreputation? Has no-one thought of the consequences? Oh well.Chris: My name's Chris, erm, I am an alcoholic...[AA group claps]...I have got a problem, I can accept that, I'm not gonna give in to it. I'm gonna take each day as it comes. I've done a few bad things. I started when I was 14, drinking the usual cider, Newcastl...AA Leader: We've all been there.Chris: Then, I moved on to stronger things, Night Nurse, Benylin. I was basically drinkin anything I could get my hands on, and that's why I came today.AA Leader: Well done, Chris.Brilliant: Aren't kids brilliant thes days? They're 'appy just sittin' 'round plain' video games, you don't have to worry 'bout 'em getting run over or 'owt, fantastic. When I were a kid I used to get dead bored, me Dad used t' say that when he were a kid... [cuts to Rubbish Dad] Rubbish Dad: ...all I needed were a bit o' string... [cuts back to Br...
Brilliant: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH...aren't mams brilliant? They give birth to you, you know, they 'have' you, an' that. And then they look after you, for as long as you want. You don't have to p...[he trips and falls over his own feet]Brilliant: I fell over, brilliant.Swiss Toni is a British television comedy character played by Charlie Higson. He is a 50-something car dealer, usually depicted wearing a grey suit and with his hair styled in a platinum blond bouffant quiff; his accent is reported to be based on Higson's own poor impersonation of Sean Connery. [1]
Jun 9, 2015 · His best quote: His advise on laying carpet ; “Laying a carpet is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all...
