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What are the Four Horsemen?
What are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
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Learn how to identify and avoid the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, communication styles that can predict the end of a relationship. Find out how to replace them with healthy, productive patterns and improve your relationship with The Gottman Relationship Adviser.
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to Gottman research, can predict the end of a relationship. 1. Criticism.
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If you don’t, you risk serious problems in the future of your relationship. But, like Newton’s Third Law, for every horseman there is an antidote, and you can learn how and when to use them below. You can download a free PDF version of the The Four Horsemen and Their Antidotes here.
- A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blam...
- Contempt shows up in statements that come from a position of moral superiority. Some examples of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling,...
- Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in attempt to ward off a perceived attack....
- Stonewalling is when someone completely withdraws from a conflict discussion and no longer responds to their partner. It usually happens when you’r...
- Now that you know what the Four Horsemen are and how to counteract them with their proven antidotes, you’ve got the essential tools to manage confl...
The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism. It is a natural human behavior for people to seek an explanation for their negative feelings and, over time, people can develop a negative habit of mind to search for why they feel so bad.
- Ellie Lisitsa
Jun 18, 2022 · Learn how to identify and avoid the Four Horsemen, behavioral predictors of divorce or break-up, according to couples therapist Dr. John Gottman. Find out the antidotes, examples, and tips to break the pattern of the Four Horsemen in your relationship.
The Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution (also known as Gottman's Four Horsemen) is a relational communications theory that proposes four critically negative behaviors that lead to the breakdown of marital and romantic relationships.
Dec 15, 2014 · Certain negative communication styles are so lethal to a relationship that Dr. John Gottman calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They predict rela...
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- The Gottman Institute
