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- Susy Alexandre
- Cheaters will tell you it didn’t mean anything. “It didn’t mean anything.” According to psychotherapist Holly Behiels, cheaters will often make this claim as a way to minimize the damage of their actions.
- Cheaters will make excuses for being away from you. “I have to work late/work out of town.” This is one of the most obvious red flags to partners who suspect infidelity, according to Behiels who cites this statement as one commonly used to account for and justify missed time.
- Cheaters will play the friendship card. “She/he is just a friend.” “Declaring a relationship a platonic friendship is one way of making an excuse to spend time with an individual and increase communication,” says Behiels.
- Cheaters will gas light you. “You are crazy.” While this kind of response to a partner being questioned about their infidelity is so aggressive that it’s insulting — regardless of the basis in truth — Behiels notes that this statement is actually quite common in the case of cheating partners.
Aug 29, 2018 · Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep profound, meaningful secrets from a committed primary partner. I like this definition for four primary reasons: 1. The ...
Feb 23, 2022 · Admittedly, sometimes people choose to cheat because they’re in a bad relationship and want out. Sometimes they feel stuck because of kids, finances, social mores, or whatever. So they sneak ...
- Eva Taylor Grant
- They Might Fear Conflict. A cheater might turn to infidelity to avoid a fight with their partner about issues in the relationship. “People cheat often out of fear of facing conflict,” explains Klapow.
- They May Be Looking To Avoid Intimacy. For some, cheating is a way to put emotional distance between them and their partner, if things are moving too fast, or the intimacy of the relationship triggers an avoidant attachment response, according to Dr. Tammy Nelson, board-certified sexologist and licensed relationship therapist.
- They Might See Cheating As “Evening The Score” If they believe their partner has done them wrong, a passive-aggressive cheater might see their infidelity as a way to settle things in a non-confrontational but still hurtful way.
- They May Want To Explore Non-Monogamy. Some cheaters take issue with the institution of monogamy and might consider exploring other arrangements such as open relationships, polyamory, or monogam-ish situations before cheating.
- The Many Motivations for Cheating. Lots of reasons. The same study sampled 495 individuals who admitted to cheating in their relationship. To understand their actions, researchers gave them 77 items that all essentially asked: Why did you do it?
- The Anatomy of an Affair. Motivations for cheating impacted the length of affairs. When people cheated due to anger, lack of love, or variety, their affairs were longer, while those motivated by the situation had shorter affairs.
- Do People Want to Get Caught? We typically think of cheating as a clandestine enterprise, the success of which depends on not getting discovered. But some cheaters aren’t as careful as others, perhaps intentionally.
- Confessions of a Cheater. Why people cheat impacts how they handle it. For example, many cheaters confessed their affair. In fact, there was almost a 50/50 split between disclosers and secret-keepers.
Jul 8, 2023 · Michelle Russell and colleagues (2013) at Florida State found that “spouses were more likely to perpetrate infidelity when either they or their partner was high (vs. low) in attachment anxiety ...
Oct 11, 2019 · 6. Sexual desire. A simple desire to have sex can motivate some people to cheat. Other factors, including opportunity or unmet sexual needs, may also play a part in infidelity that’s motivated ...
