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  1. Jun 8, 2015 · Here are five secrets to get you started: Be authentic. To find real love, you must first emphasize your true self. If you want someone to love you through your moments of imperfection, you...

    • The ‘You’ll Find Love When You’Re Not Looking’ Approach May Be wrong.
    • Go Where People Like The Same Things You like.
    • Look Up from Your Phone.
    • Don’T Seek Romance, Seek Partnership.
    • Happy People Attract people.
    • Take Time to Be by yourself.
    • Instant Sexual Attraction Often fades.
    • Beware of The ‘Opposites Attract’ Theory.
    • Become A ‘Psychotic Optimist’.
    • Understand Your Own needs.

    That’s like saying, “You’ll find a job when you’re least looking for it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert and sociology professor at the University of Washington. It’s possible, but rarely happens. “For the most part, people who wait for a job are unemployed,” she added. “For me, it’s just an excuse for being scared to go and put the ef...

    You can skip singles events if you don’t like them, but you have to go where you can meet people, Schwartz advised. Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties. At the very least, you’re doing something you like and at the very best, you'll meet somebody like-minded. Bite the bullet a...

    Good men and good women are everywhere — if you’re looking, noted Bela Gandhi, founder of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. She’s amazed people often complain they don’t meet anyone, but then go out and keep their heads down the entire time, staring at their devices. Wherever you are, be present and look around the room to see who is looking at ...

    Romance is for dates, and it’s fun to have on occasion in your marriage, but it’s partnership that will get you through the rough times, said Tina B. Tessina, a California psychotherapist also known as "Dr. Romance" and author of “How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together.” “Don’t look for someone who sweeps you off your feet. That indicate...

    Maybe the biggest issue in not being able to find love is that you’re not feeling good about yourself. Like yourself and like your life — really work on that, Schwartz advised. You have to be the person that you’d want to meet. “If you’re not a happy, positive, self-confident person, you cut your chances of being in the right space for the right ki...

    It’s important after a divorce or any break-up after a long relationship to take some time to be alone, said Nicole Baras Feuer, a divorce coach with Start Over Smart in Westport, Connecticut. “You will be in better shape to meet the ‘right’ person if you have time to heal, spend time alone to figure out who you are again, reflect on what went wron...

    Most good love is a slow burn — it takes a while to develop, Gandhi said. She believes attraction is important, but you don’t have to feel it right away since that instant spark is more about lust and less about the stuff of real relationships. Emotion can change and deepen over time so give people a fair shot, Feuer added.

    Opposites attract at first, but they’ll likely face major friction points down the road. Like-minded people actually make for easier and healthy long-term relationships, said Dr. Gail Saltz, a New York psychiatrist. The more you see eye-to-eye on, the less there is to argue and compromise about.

    “That means you believe at any cost that you’re going to find that love; love is meant for you and it will come to you so that you just have to date like hell until you find it,” Gandhi said. You have to embrace the process of dating, so adopting a “psychotic optimist” mindset will make it more fun once you’re convinced true love is really out ther...

    Do you need a lot of space? Desire lots of affection? Have to know what’s going on all the time? “Whatever your style is, it’s OK, but you need to know it and be able to communicate it to your future spouse. You can train each other if you both know what you need,” Tessina said.

    • 6 min
    • A. Pawlowski
  2. May 1, 2024 · How can you tell if you’ve found your true love? Navigate relationships with therapy. Characteristics of true love. True love goes beyond the grand gestures and poetic words found in literature. It’s not just about fireworks and sparks; it’s about genuine connection, respect, trust, and understanding.

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