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Can a child develop an anxious attachment style?
What causes an anxious attachment style?
What is anxious attachment?
Mar 28, 2022 · How to notice the signs of anxious attachment style in children, its effects, their behaviors, and how to foster a secure attachment style.
- Overview
- What causes anxious attachment?
- Signs of anxious attachment
- Are certain children at increased risk?
- How does anxious attachment affect relationships?
- Can you change your attachment style?
- Can you prevent anxious attachment?
- Outlook
You can develop an anxious attachment style if your parents were inconsistently attentive to your needs in infancy and childhood.
How a caregiver interacts with a baby or young child can affect the attachment style that the child develops.
Babies and young children rely on caregivers for their well-being, and they also learn early social skills by observing how their caregiver responds to them and others.
Anxious attachment is one of four types of attachment styles. People who have developed an anxious attachment may have difficulty feeling secure in relationships. As young children, they may cling to caregivers or become inconsolable when a caregiver leaves.
As an adult, they may be prone to jealousy or other insecurities about relationships. Anxious attachment may also be called ambivalent attachment.
•secure
Researchers aren’t entirely sure what causes a person to develop a specific attachment type, though parenting style and behaviors may play a role.
In cases where people develop an anxious attachment type, inconsistent parenting may be a contributing factor.
A parent with inconsistent parenting behaviors may be nurturing and attuned at times, but insensitive, emotionally unavailable, or antipathetic (cold or critical) at other times.
Parents may also be slow or inconsistent in responding to signs of distress in their baby. For example, not picking up a crying baby to avoid “spoiling” the child may actually lead to the development of anxious attachment toward the caregiver.
Inconsistent behaviors by a parent or caregiver can cause a child to become confused and insecure since they don’t know what behavior to expect.
A child who has developed an anxious attachment toward a caregiver may act “clingy” or “whiny” toward them to try to have their needs met.
Both children and adults can exhibit signs of anxious attachment. A child who has developed anxious attachment toward their caregiver may seem notably anxious when separated by that caregiver. They may also be hard to console after the caregiver has returned.
In adulthood, a person who developed anxious attachment may need constant reassurance and affection from their partner. They may also have trouble being alone or single.
Certain childhood experiences may increase the likelihood that someone will develop this attachment style, including:
•early separation from a parent or caregiver
•a troubled childhood, including physical or sexual abuse
•instances of neglect or mistreatment
You may have a difficult time feeling secure in any type of relationship — including those with family, friends, and partners — if you’ve developed this type of attachment.
You may find relationships to regularly be:
•stressful
•emotional
•negative
•unstable
You may not be able to change the attachment type you developed in childhood, but you can work to feel more secure in yourself and your relationships. This can take a lot of conscious effort and self-awareness, but you’ve got this.
Here are some steps you can take:
•Practice being aware of how you interact in relationships.
•Touch base with the emotions you feel when you experience anxiety or insecurity in a relationship, and how you react to such emotions.
•Use cognitive behavioral therapy or mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, which may be able to help you regulate and respond in different ways to these emotions.
A therapist or relationship counselor may also be able to help.
Tips for parents and caregivers
Infants can begin to anticipate specific caregiver responses to their distress as early as 6 months of age. As a parent or caregiver, you can help prevent anxious attachment or other insecure attachment styles by consistently responding to your baby’s distress in sensitive and loving ways. This strategy is called “organized” and “secure.” A child will know what to do when in distress because their caregiver is consistently responsive to their needs.
Tips for adults with a history of anxious attachment
Practice communicating your needs in a clear, direct way. Let people in relationships with you know what you need. Changing your communication style can be challenging. Working with a therapist or relationship counselor may help.
Children living with caregivers who are neglectful, abusive, or emotionally unavailable are more likely to develop anxious attachment.
This attachment style can increase risk for anxiety disorders and low self-esteem later in life, and have a negative impact on relationships.
As an adult, you may be able to restructure your thoughts to help you move toward a more secure attachment style. This will take a combination of self-awareness, patience, and conscious effort.
Working alongside a therapist can also help break the pattern of anxious attachment.
Jul 2, 2020 · Anxious attachment is one of the three insecure attachment styles. Referred to as anxious ambivalent attachment in children, anxious attachment develops in early childhood. Most often, anxious attachment is due to misattuned and inconsistent parenting.
Jun 18, 2021 · 1. The role of an ambivalent (or anxious-preoccupied) attachment style. Children with an ambivalent/anxious-preoccupied style cling to their caregivers, are anxious and guarded around strangers, exhibit distress when their caregiver leaves, but then remain ambivalent when they return.
Apr 27, 2023 · Anxious preoccupied attachment—also known as anxious attachment in adults and ambivalent attachment in children —usually occurs when there has been an inconsistent relationship with a parent or caregiver during childhood.
Jul 30, 2023 · Children with anxious attachment styles may have learned they need to perform perfection, act out, or fight to keep their caregivers close in order to get their needs met.
Aug 31, 2020 · Attachment is a deep, enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another. And most researchers believe it’s critical for kids to develop a secure attachment to a primary caregiver at a young age. Fortunately, most infants do successfully attach to a parent or another caregiver.
