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Mar 10, 2021 · On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, “If you ever come close to me, I’ll skin you alive. When we’re sleeping, you don’t touch me. You hear me? Don’t ever talk to me, either.” “Great,” I thought. “First day in here and I’m already married.”
- A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?” The man says “I’m probably too honest.”
- My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
- Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
- I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
- Ammar Ahmed
- Work-Appropriate “Joke of the Day” Ideas for an Office Board. These jokes are typically short, and clean, and often play on common workplace scenarios or general humor that most people can relate to.
- Industry or Profession-Specific Jokes. Industry or profession-specific jokes are tailored to the unique experiences, terminology, and scenarios common in specific fields of work.
- Workplace Situation-Related Jokes. Workplace situation-related jokes focus on common experiences in office settings, such as meetings, lunch breaks, office politics, and the day-to-day happenings that anyone who has worked in an office can relate to.
- Work-Appropriate Jokes for Virtual Workplaces. Work-appropriate jokes for virtual workplaces are particularly relevant in the era of remote work and online collaboration.
Mar 14, 2024 · Need a good laugh? Check out 300 funny quotes to make you laugh out loud and improve your day with a few chuckles along the way.
- One Liners
- Jokes to Message Your Coworker
- Joke of The Day For Coworkers
- Corny Work Jokes
- Work Puns
- Morning Jokes For Work
- Friday Work Jokes
- Dry Humor Jokes
- Animal Jokes
- Dad Jokes
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.There should be confetti in tires so when there is a blow-out it’s still kind of an okay day.Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.Learn to spell… AutoCorrect isn’t always write.The fact that Head & Shouldersdoesn’t have a body wash called ‘Knees & Toes’ disappoints me.There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.I was walking past a farm and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.A lawyer said to a judge, “My client is trapped inside a penny.” The judge said, “What?” and the lawyer said, “He’s in a cent.”What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me!Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office. I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. He’s currently assembling his cabinet.This morning I saw a person dragging a clam on a leash behind him. It must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel.Boss: How good are you are PowerPoint? Me:I Excel at it. Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Me: Word.Me: I want to travel. Bank Account:Where? To work?Smonday. The moment when Sunday is overtaken by the sadness and anxiety of the coming Monday.I was just in the breakroom and someone threw milk at me… How dairy!Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.Sometimes I tell fish jokes just for the halibut.What do biologists wear to work on Casual Friday? Genes.Why should you never get in a fight with Tryptophan? It’s amino acid.I’ve been doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning. Nestle in the afternoon.Did you hear that Larry got a new job working for Old Macdonald? He’s the new CIEIO.Every morning I announce that I’m going running, but then I don’t. It’s a running joke.Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday.Which day do potatoes fear the most? Fryday.Boss told me to have a good day so I went home.I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday last weekend. Never again.I will now be signing all emails with this disclaimer: On average it takes me two days to overthink the best response to your email. You can be assured that I will reply to you in my head and forge...Why did the Apple Watch lose the fight to the grandfather clock? The clock had hands.What’s a tree’s favorite condiment? Branch dressing.What do you call two guys hanging on a window? Kurt and Rod.I just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA. Should look cool on my black jeep.Just got excited at a crossword clue that was “cheese lovers” and was like, oh! There’s a name for people like me. The answer was, “mice”.What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad.Last night, I accidentally superglued my thumb and finger together… but don’t worry, it will be ok. 👌Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?Who built King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference.Feb 5, 2024 · From cracking jokes about deadlines to sarcastic quips about office politics, these quotes are sure to make you laugh and maybe even make your coworkers chuckle. So, grab your coffee and get ready to add some humor to your workday.
People also ask
Are office jokes a 'joke of the day' culture?
What is a good office joke?
What are workplace situation-related jokes?
What happens if a joke is inappropriate?
Whether you’re looking to break the ice with new team members, spark lively conversations during coffee breaks, or just lighten the mood in the office, these questions are designed to elicit smiles, laughter, and a sense of camaraderie among coworkers.
