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  1. May 28, 2019 · Here are the best Anthony Jeselnik jokes, ranked by comedy fans everywhere. Anthony Jeselnik is without a doubt one of the darkest comedians working today. All you have to do is watch one of his stand-up specials for two minutes to see just how dark he'll go. His stand-up sets also utilize insults, non sequiters and ironic misdirections.

    • Jack Napier
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    • 11 Best Anthony Jeselnik One Liners
    • 11 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes
    • 8 Best Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
    • 5 Best Thoughts and Prayers Quotes
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    My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person – so I can get a better girlfriend.
    I used to have s** with my teachers in exchange for good grades on teacher evaluations.
    My nephew killed himself masturbating but, officially, the cause of death is exhaustion.
    I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
    Who do you think was better: Jesus or Buddha; I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified?
    I can’t talk politics with my cousin because he’s such a hypocrite. He’s against the death penalty and he hanged himself.
    Women are really divided on abortion in this country. Half of them are cool, but the other half I have to drag down there.
    My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
    I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You’d just be ripping them off.
    Every comic went through their Mitch Hedbergphase – the glasses, the hair in the face – and you knew immediately when they were doing it.
    I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, ‘I’ll write more than everybody else, and that’s how I’ll get better.’
    I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldn’t be the bad guy in the joke; he couldn’t upset people, really.

    1 Last year was a sad year for my family. Last year, my mom should’ve been celebrating her 60th birthday. But because of drugs, alcohol and other terrible decisions, we all forgot. It was sad.

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  2. Mar 5, 2023 · Get to know the dark humor of Anthony Jeselnik in eight jokes.#StandUp #AnthonyJeselnikParamount+ is here! Stream all your favorite shows now on Paramount+. ...

    • 12 min
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    • Comedy Central Stand-Up
  3. Anthony Jeselnik is renowned for his dark and edgy humor that pushes boundaries. His one-liners are sharp, controversial, and often leave audiences both shocked and amused. In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 173+ jokes that capture the essence of Anthony Jeselnik’s comedic style. Brace yourself for a wild ride through the world of ...

  4. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question. But the look of joy in his eyes when I tell him this is worth a world. OG: Anthony Jeselnik. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18.

  5. Dec 2, 2022 · You’re our kinda people. Enjoy! 12. “People get weird when kids die, that's a fact. Like about a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek, and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. That's all anybody talked about for weeks.

  6. Nov 1, 2013 · The success of Anthony Jeselnik’s Comedy Central show, The Jeselnik Offensive, has vaulted the comedian into the Hollywood limelight.But for the past decade, the Pittsburgh native has been challenging norms and pushing boundaries with a litany of clever one-liners that often include a signature sociopathic twist.

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