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- The Employment Turnover of the Credits. “We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.”
- Weight Ratios and the Humble Swallow. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier. One of Monty Python’s calling card joke constructions is presenting an absurdity and then allowing a few characters to nitpick it to death with over-informed logic.
- Bring Out Your Dead. “I’m not dead” – Carried Man. Often misremembered as “I’m not quite dead” or “I’m not dead yet,” the old man protesting his placement on the plague cart is a deliciously dark joke done with great sincerity.
- Debating Government with the Common Folk. “Well, I didn’t vote for you.” – Peasant Woman to King Arthur. Is England a monarchy? A dictatorship? An autonomous collective?
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1. “Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ‘sorry this’ and ‘forgive me that’ and ‘I’m not worthy.’” – God 2. “Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.” – King of Swamp Castle 3. “Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no system for a basis of government. Supreme executi...
10. “Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.” – Bridgekeeper 11. “It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!” – King Arthur 12. “We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and Spam...
19. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier 20. Sir Bedevere: “Good. Now, why do witches burn?” Peasant 3: “Because they’re made of—wood?” Sir Bedevere: “Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?” Peasant 1: “Build a bridge out of her.” 21. “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart ...
32. “Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” – Dennis 33. King Arthur: “I am your king.” Peasant Woman: “Well, I didn’t vote for you.” King Arthur: “You don’t vote for kings.” 34. “Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you got that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma wh...
37. “Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise—not only by surprise but totally unarmed!” – Sir Bedevere 38. “You don’t frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!” – French Soldier 39. “You must return here with a shrubbery. Or else yo...
45. “Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.” – God 46. “We shall say ‘Ni!’ again to you if you do not appease us.” – Leader of the Knights Who Say Ni 47. Zoot: “Welcome, brave sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.” Sir Galahad: “The Castle Anthrax?” Zoot: “Yes...
58. “It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut.” – Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds 59. “Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?” – Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds 60. “Th...
Monty Python and the Holy Grailis undoubtedly one of the funniest movies ever made. The movie may appear to be senseless for some. But, in reality, it displays some facts about medieval politics, religious beliefs, traditions, and science as well! Strictly speaking, the Holy Grail is an important religious relic significant to Christianity. This is...
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Feb 29, 2024 · A collection of quotes from the 1975 comedy film about King Arthur and his knights. Find dialogue from scenes such as Coconuts, Bring out your dead, Must be a king, and more.
Browse the best quotes from the 1975 comedy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, starring Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. Find hilarious lines from King Arthur, the Black Knight, the Bridgekeeper, the French Soldier and more.
Dec 3, 2020 · Enjoy the best jokes and one-liners from the classic comedy movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. From coconuts to witches, from knights to kings, these quotes will make you laugh out loud.
Find hilarious quotes from the classic comedy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, starring Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. Browse by character, scene or tagline and enjoy the absurd humor of the Python troupe.
Find the best quotes from the 1975 British comedy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, written and performed by the Monty Python comedy group. See hilarious lines from Arthur, Sir Galahad, Frenchman, and more.
