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- These short jokes have become standard-format folk humor beginning with the non-grammatical “Confucius say.” A Confucius joke can be dirty or clean. Examples of clean Confucius jokes include: Confucius Say, Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs; Confucius Say, Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
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Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, is known for his profound wisdom and teachings. However, in the spirit of lightheartedness, we’ve imagined some humorous “ Confucius says” one-liners that playfully blend his wisdom with a touch of humor. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy these witty and comical Confucius sayings that will tickle ...
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101. Confucius say wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn. 100. Confucius say man who eat many prunes, sit on can formany moons. 99. Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter 98. Confucius say girl who sit on judge’s lap get honorabledischarge. 97. Confucius say: It take many nails to build crib, but onescrew to fill it. 96. Confuc...
89. Confucius say man who lay woman on ground, get piece onearth. 88. Confucius say baby born in car with automatictransmission, grow to become shiftless bastard. 87. Confucius say man who drive like hell, bound to getthere. 86. Confucius say man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam. 85. Confucius say man who pull out too soon, leave rubberbehind. 84...
79. Confucius say fly who sit on toilet seat, get pissedoff. 78. Confucius say man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose. 77. Confucius say soldier who go to bed horny, wake withdishonorable discharge. 76. Confucius say secretary become permanent fixture, whenscrewed on desk. 75. Confucius say man who masturbate, only screwing himself. 74. Confucius ...
69. Confucius say learn to masturbate-come in handy. 68. Confucius say man who put cream in tart, not alwaysbaker. 67. Confucius say man with head on railroad track, listeningfor train to come, get splitting headache. 66. Confucius say virgin with thimble on finger, never feelprick. 65. Confucius say all men eat, but Fumanchu. 64. Confucius say foo...
59. Confucius say rape should not happen-woman run fasterwith skirt up, than man with pants down. 58. Confucius say never raise hands to angry child-leavegroin exposed. 57. Confucius say man who take lady on camping trip, haveone intent. 56. Confucius say It take many nails to build crib, but onescrew to fill it. 55. Confucius say he who fart in ch...
49. Confucius say man who fall in vat of molten glass, makespectacle of self. 48. Confucius say he who crosses ocean twice withoutwashing, dirty double crosser. 47. Confucius say man with big mouth, beware of foot. 46. Confucius say man who sit on tack, get point. 45. Confucius say he who live in stone house, should notthrow glasses. 44. Confucius ...
39. Confucius say takes many nails to build crib, but onlyone screw to fill it. 38. Confucius say girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all overtown. 37. Confucius say naked man fear no pickpocket. 36. Confucius say woman wearing G-string, high on crack. 35. Confucius say the end of day is near when small men makelong shadows. 34. Confucius say America...
29. Confucius say girl who marry detective, like to kissdick. 28. Confucius say man who walk through airport doorsideways, going to Bangkok. 27. Confucius say sailor who get discharged from navy, leavebuddies behind. 26. Confucius say man who sleep with old hen, find it betterthan pullet. 25. Confucius say waitress who sit on lepper’s lap, keeptip....
19. Confucius say better to be pissed off than pissed on. 18. Confucius say bird in hand, make difficult to blow nose. 17. Confucius say man with hole in pocket, feel cocky. 16. Confucius say cow with no legs, ground beef. 15. Confucius say he who eat crackers in bed, have crummysleep. 14. Confucius say man who jizz in cash register, come intomoney...
9. Confucius say man who put face in punchbowl, get punch innose. 8. Confucius say man like baby-want to suck tit all day. 7. Confucius say too many light bulb jokes, soon burn out. 6. Confucius say girl who sit on jockey’s lap get hot tip. 5. Confucius say man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy. 4. Confucius say man who speak with forked tongue, s...
Best Funny Confucius Quotes. #1. “War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.”. #2. “He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat.”. #3. “It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.”. #4. “ Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
May 26, 2024 · Confucius was known for his witty and thought-provoking quotes. One of his famous sayings goes, “Man who do business in whore house get screwed.”. This humorously highlights the idea that engaging in shady or unethical practices will ultimately lead to negative consequences.
In this compilation, we will explore some of Confucius’ most humorous quotes, shining a light on his lighter side. These funny anecdotes provide a refreshing perspective, showcasing how even the greatest thinkers can embrace laughter and amusement.
Confucius also used humor to express his deep insight into human nature. He once said, “The Master said, ‘The superior man is affable, but not adulatory; the mean man is adulatory, but not affable.’
Nov 2, 2021 · Confucius’s teachings weren’t just humorous in their own right at times, they were often scathing. In contemporary terms, many of them were wicked burns, the kind that leave someone feeling the aftereffects of a painful lesson.
