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Jan 8, 2020 · This page features a collection of funny, witty and amusing quotes about the lighter side of death and dying. Death is something we all have in common, but few of us like to think about it or discuss it openly.
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- Funny Death Quotes
- 11 Stoic Quotes About Death
- Questions
While death seems morbid to us now, that hasn’t always been the case. In the past, many cultures celebrated death.
At his death bed, Achilles realized that they were going to lose the war and uttered his last words, “Defeet hurts.” Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. My father expired when we were not able to remember his blood type. We kept asking him his blood type, but he kept insisting that we “be positive.” The seven ages of man: spills, d...
Never get on a funeral director’s bad side. Remember, cremation destroys 100% of DNA. Thanks to our funeral director for being the last person to let us down. Being a funeral director is a dying profession. A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse. People are dying to take a ride in it. What do you call a coffee shop tha...
If you have a zombie friend who’s a light eater and asks you to join them for coffee so they can “pick your brain…” Think twice. What’s the slogan for Zombie Skittles? Taste the Brainbow. What’s your favorite quote from Zombie Romeo and Juliet? “Zombie or not Zombie, that is the question.” What is your favorite Zombie Socrates quote? “Zombie is to ...
The grave digger spent many hours practicing his craft because he was so dead-icated. The mortician still takes classes, wanting to further her dead-ucation. Anyone buried in a cemetery becomes a new dead-dition to the graveyard club. She did this for her own dead-ification. Sherlock Holmes solved the case of the missing corpse using dead-uction. T...
I was driving along Cemetery Road when I came upon a Dead End sign. My friend convinced me to visit Karl Marx’s grave. It turns out it’s just a communist plot. I just visited my late grandmother’s grave in the cemetery. When I went there, I found her dancing! It was quite the Plot Twist. Gravediggers are overweight due to their cemetery lifestyle. ...
“There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer.” -Eugene Ionesco (playwright) “I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.” -Doug Benson “My father was from Aberdeen and a more g...
Congratulations if you’ve made it this far! I know it seems morbid, but death is inevitable. Death is going to happen. Dreading and fearing it will only make the few years we have less enjoyable. Here are a few quotes about death from the Stoics. “I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it.” -Epictetus “It’s better to conquer g...
References:
1. https://dailystoic.com/memento-mori 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danse_Macabre 3. https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/bee-in-your-bonnet.html
Jan 8, 2024 · Embracing life’s final chapter with a smile, our collection of ‘Funny Death Quotes‘ at fabulousquotes.net offers a humorous twist on the inevitable. Let these light-hearted sayings brighten your day and remind you to laugh in the face of mortality.
- 7 min
- "Death is too negative for me. So I’ll be popping off for a long cup of tea, Do splash out on two bags in the pot. And for my god’s sake, keep the water hot."
- "According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death." — Jerry Seinfeld. This line is just the first part of one of the comedian’s classic riffs, but it can also set up some other great punchlines.
- "They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days." — Garrison Keillor.
- "Everybody can’t talk at the funeral!" — Shuler King. Shuler King’s family has owned a funeral home since 1945. Naturally, he became a licensed funeral director and embalmer to help their business thrive.
Feb 17, 2021 · Death puns are a quick way to lighten the mood and lift your spirits. You can find several clever death puns to add to your repertoire and momentarily ease sorrow.
Mar 7, 2020 · God has, for some reason, granted us life, numbered our days, and given many of us a steak of dark humor. If that’s you, read on! If not, well, uh… don’t. Here are 31 somewhat dark but otherwise harmless (and hilarious) funeral jokes and one-liners.
Feb 14, 2020 · Discover great puns about death to get you laughing, including puns that poke at cemeteries, funerals, and more.
