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- One of the biggest drawbacks to being likable is that people often take advantage of your kindness. Liked people are usually the most helpful, kind, and available to those around them. Sometimes, when you give an inch, many will take ten miles, leaving you exhausted and worn out.
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May 7, 2024 · The truth is, however, that being likable might not be such a likable thing. With any good, there must be some bad, a yin to a yang. It is discouraging that the saying “no...
Being likable doesn’t mean being the center of attention or the life of the party; it’s how you make others feel. It means being supportive, understanding, and respectful. Psychologists have identified several characteristics that make individuals universally appealing. In this article, we will explore some of these traits and indicators.
Jan 24, 2017 · In reality, being likable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ). In a study conducted at UCLA, subjects rated over 500 descriptions of people based on their...
- 20 Tips to Be More Likable
- Gender Differences in Likability
- 4 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Likability
1. Develop your sense of humor
Our survey showed that being funny is one of the most important traits for being likable and that women value being funny even more than men do. Be aware that humor can be a double-edged sword. Being genuinely funny is highly likable while trying to be funny is not and can push people away. On top of this, people might think someone is funny because they like them (Not like them specifically because they are funny). So if you’re not naturally funny, there are other things you can do that are...
2. Be a good listener
Here’s how to know if you are a good listener: When someone is talking, do you focus all your attention on what they are saying, or do you start thinking about what you should say next? If you think about what you should say next, it’s a sign that you need to practice listening. You can do this by continuously moving your attention back to the speaker whenever you zone out. Rather than wondering about what you should say, try to come up with questions you can ask to learn more about what they...
3. Give people your undivided attention
Giving someone your undivided attention is such an important part of showing that you listen that it deserves its own section. When you talk to someone, focus only on them. Put your phone away. Ignore your laptop. Don’t scan the room or let anyone else grab your attention. If you get stuck in your thoughts, refocus on the person you’re talking to by listening and paraphrasing what they’ve said in your head. It’s good to think of talking to someone as single-tasking. You’re only interested in...
Gender differences in our survey results
According to our survey, men and women have slightly different opinions about what makes someone likable. Men seem to appreciate good listeners even more than women do: When we look at women specifically, being funny is even more pronounced: This fits with findings from psychological studies on opposite-sex attraction. Psychologists have discovered that men find women more attractive when they appear to be responsive, i.e., when the women appear to be listening. This may sound like common...
So why do men and women have different preferences?
Psychologists don’t know for sure why men and women have different opinions about what makes someone likable. However, they have thought of a few theories, including: 1. Men find women who listen to them more feminine—and therefore more attractive—because listening is traditionally seen as a “female” quality. Women do not think that men who listen well are more or less masculine than other men, possibly because most people don’t see listening as a “manly” skill.This means they put less imp...
1. Avoid humblebragging
It’s natural to assume that people will like us more if we hint about our accomplishments or strengths. Humble bragging, or just full-on bragging, makes you look insecure. Quite the opposite of likable, it advertises your need for validation. You are signaling that you want others’ approval, which makes you needy. Studies show that humble-bragging is even less likable than straight-up bragging.If you do want to share something, don’t sneak it in. Be unapologetic about it. If it’s relevant...
2. Avoid name dropping
If you know someone famous or impressive, the only time you need to reveal that fact is if it can help the person you’re talking to. Otherwise, you look like you mentioned it to make yourself look more important. Err on the side of caution and only comment on your link to notable folk when it’s relevant to your conversation.
3. Avoid gossiping
It’s human nature to indulge in this un-harmless pastime. But if you do, realize that you’ve pretty much sold your integrity. Why? Because if you listen or add to it, that means when (not if)it gets back to the people outside the conversation, they will know you can’t be trusted. The bedrock of likability is that you are trustworthy. Gossip defeats everything you are trying to build. Make it a habit to only say things about someone that you would also feel comfortable saying directly to them.
- Be a better listener. People like being listened to, and there are no shortcuts here. To be a good listener you have to actually listen to what the other person is saying, instead of running through the great story you want to tell the moment they finish speaking) and you have to find ways to convey that you’re being attentive.
- Be supportive. It might seem cool to make light of a minor complaint when someone expresses it (“I had to work all weekend.” “Well, that’s why you make the big bucks!”)
- Follow up. This is an opportunity most people miss. If someone tells you they have an exam coming up, ask them how it went. If you know they went on vacation, ask how it was.
- Find common ground. People connect to others who are similar to them or who have similar interests and opinions, so when meeting people you don’t know well or are meeting for the first time, try to find common interests, hobbies, opinions, taste in movies, books, shows, music or fashion, vacation destinations, or anything else that might create connective tissue between you.
Jan 27, 2015 · Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like...
Feb 27, 2020 · The Small Things You’re Doing that Make You Unlikable. Clinically Reviewed by Cynthia V. Catchings LCSW-S. Written by Elizabeth Su. Feb 27, 2020. Likeability is a strange concept. After all, who is to say if you are likeable or not?
