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- While optimism can provide numerous benefits, toxic positivity can have the opposite effect, leading to increased stress, decreased emotional resilience, and strained relationships. A person with an optimistic approach will acknowledge the difficulty but focus on finding a solution.
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Feb 9, 2021 · Hopeful optimism involves a process of anticipating positive circumstances and improved outcomes. Science shows that imagining the future in such ways can help promote human flourishing ...
2 days ago · Remember, true self-care encourages a balance of positive thinking and emotional honesty, allowing for a healthier, more resilient mindset, preparing you to deal with negativity in the future when ...
- Overview
- Examples of Toxic Positivity
- Why Toxic Positivity Is Harmful
- Signs of Toxic Positivity
- How to Avoid Toxic Positivity
- Coping With Toxic Positivity
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Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. While there are benefits to being optimistic and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely-positive façade.
Having a positive outlook on life is good for your mental well-being. The problem is that life isn't always positive. We all have painful emotions and experiences. Those emotions, while often unpleasant, need to be felt and dealt with openly and honestly to achieve acceptance and greater psychological health.
Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme. This attitude doesn't just stress the importance of optimism—it also minimizes and even denies any trace of human emotions not strictly happy or positive.
Toxic positivity can take a wide variety of forms. Some examples you may have encountered in your own life include:
•When something bad happens, such as losing your job, people may say to “just stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” While such comments are often meant to be sympathetic, they can shut down anything the other person might want to say about what they are experiencing.
•After experiencing some type of loss, people might say that “everything happens for a reason.” While people will make such statements because they believe they are comforting, this is also a way of avoiding the other person's pain.
•Upon expressing disappointment or sadness, someone may respond that “happiness is a choice.” This suggests that if someone is feeling negative emotions, it’s their own fault for not “choosing” to be happy.
Too much positivity is toxic because it can harm people who are going through difficult times. Rather than being able to share genuine human emotions and gain unconditional support, people who are faced with toxic positivity find their feelings dismissed, ignored, or outright invalidated.
•It's shaming: Receiving toxic positivity can lead to feelings of shame. It tells people that the emotions they are feeling are unacceptable. When someone is suffering, they need to know that their emotions are valid and that they can find relief and love in their friends and family.
•It causes guilt: Being toxically positive can also cause feelings of guilt. It sends a message that if you aren't finding a way to feel positive—even in the face of tragedy—you are doing something wrong.
•It avoids authentic human emotion: Toxic positivity functions as an avoidance mechanism. When people engage in this type of behavior, it allows them to sidestep emotional situations that make them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we turn these same ideas on ourselves, internalizing them. When we feel difficult emotions, we then discount, dismiss, and deny them.
•It prevents growth: Toxic positivity allows us to avoid feeling things that might be painful. But this denies us the ability to face challenging feelings that can ultimately lead to growth and deeper insight.
The “positive vibes only” mantra can be particularly grating during times of intense personal distress. When people are coping with situations such as financial troubles, job loss, illness, or the loss of a loved one, being told that they need to look on the bright side can seem downright cruel.
Toxic positivity can often be subtle. Learning to recognize the signs can help you better identify this type of behavior. Signs that you might be toxically positive include:
•Brushing off problems rather than facing them
•Hiding your true feelings behind feel-good quotes that seem socially acceptable
•Minimizing other people's feelings because they make you uncomfortable
•Shaming other people when they don't have a positive attitude
It's equally important to know when someone else may be acting toxically positive with you, potentially hurting your mental well-being. Signs that you may be on the receiving end of toxic positivity include:
If you recognize toxically positive behaviors in yourself, there are things that you can do to develop a healthier, more supportive approach. Some ideas include:
•Develop an attitude that "it's okay to not be okay." Instead of having a viewpoint that it's wrong to have negative feelings, accept that it isn't realistic to be okay all the time. Remind yourself that if someone doesn't feel okay, that's perfectly acceptable.
•Manage your negative emotions, but don't deny them. Negative emotions can cause stress when unchecked. But they can also provide important information that can lead to beneficial changes in your life.
•Focus on listening to others and showing support. When someone expresses a difficult emotion, don’t shut them down with toxic positivity. Instead, let them know that what they are feeling is normal and you are there to listen.
If someone you know has a tendency to respond to your negative feelings with statements that aren't supportive or emotionally validating, some ways you can respond to toxic positivity include:
•Be realistic about what you feel. When facing a difficult situation, it’s normal to feel stressed, worried, or even fearful. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Practice self-care and work on taking steps that can help improve your situation.
•Don't be afraid to challenge the person being toxically positive. While challenging this type of response can be uncomfortable, confronting the person's approach provides them the opportunity to grow. This can be especially helpful if facing toxic positivity at work, helping leaders evaluate the impact of their statements and actions.
•Know that it’s okay to feel more than one thing. If you are facing a challenge, it’s possible to feel nervous about the future and, at the same time, hopeful that you will succeed. Your emotions can be as complex as the situation itself.
•Look for meaning behind what you're going through. "Tragic optimism," or searching for the meaning behind difficult situations, is the opposite of toxic positivity and, according to some, is considered the antidote to this type of response.
•Notice how you feel. Following “positive” social media accounts can sometimes serve as a source of inspiration but pay attention to how you feel after you view and interact with such content. If you are left with a sense of shame or guilt after seeing “uplifting” posts, it might be due to toxic positivity. In such cases, consider limiting your social media consumption.
Jun 28, 2023 · Optimism is a constructive mindset that acknowledges and accepts negative situations or emotions while focusing on finding solutions and maintaining a hopeful outlook. In contrast, toxic positivity is an attitude that blindly keeps a positive outlook while dismissing or invalidating any other emotions or situations.
Jun 16, 2022 · On the surface, toxic positivity and optimism appear the same. But toxic positivity is refusing to acknowledge difficult emotions—like refusing to take off your rose-tinted glasses,...
Jun 4, 2024 · It isn’t enough to say that excessive positivity can be toxic. We need to know when that is the case, why and for whom. Luckily, there is a growing body of research addressing...
Toxic positivity hinges on the failure to acknowledge or accept someone’s negative emotions. A few examples include: • Statement: “I don’t know if I can have a relationship with my sister.
