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  1. Discover Steven Wright famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by Steven Wright and quotations about comedy and cars. "Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an..."

  2. Jan 22, 2021 · Steven Wright quotes are hilarious. Wright is an American comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He’s best known for his slow, deadpan comedy of contrived situations and delivery of ironic, non sequitur jokes, sayings, and one-liners.

  3. Dec 6, 2022 · 67. “I have a telescope on the peephole on my door, so I can see who’s at the door for 200 miles.” 66. “I’m going to get a tattoo over my whole body of me but taller.” 65. “I was thinking about the new phone that I bought and the first thing I did was push redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.” 64.

  4. Jan 9, 2023 · Here is a short selection (only 107!) of the best Steven Wright quotes. Enjoy! 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. A cop stopped me for speeding.

  5. 241 quotes from Steven Wright: 'Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.', 'If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.', and 'I just got out of the hospital.

  6. Enjoy the best Steven Wright Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Steven Wright, American Comedian, Born December 6, 1955. Share with your friends.

  7. Nov 22, 2023 · Steven Wright has several jokes about sci-fi-esque ramifications that come from making copies, but this is easily my favorite. A few questions: How much ink would that have taken?

  8. Dec 6, 2016 · To celebrate, here are 20 of his funniest jokes. 1. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." 2. "I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman." 3. "I...

  9. Mar 24, 2022 · Steven Wright. Sometimes you cannot hear me, it's because sometimes I'm in parentheses. Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an Academy Award winning American comedian, writer and actor, known for his bizarre comic style and morose stage persona.

  10. Jan 14, 2020 · Steven Wright's one-liners create a riot of laughter. If you are good at dialogue delivery, use these one-liners to sharpen your speech. Use them as ice-breakers in a meeting or as a punch-line in your presentation.

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