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Aug 12, 2022 · Learn the difference between occasional dishonesty and compulsive or pathological lying, which can be a sign of some mental health conditions. Find out how to recognize the warning signs, get professional help, and rebuild trust.
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- Signs of a Compulsive Liar
- Causes of Compulsive Lying
- What Is a Pathological Liar vs. Compulsive Liar?
- How to Deal With a Compulsive Liar
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We all tell lies occasionally. The average person tells two lies a day. However, some people tell several lies a day as a way of coping with various social situations.
Compulsive liars are people who have very little control over their tendency to use lying as a coping skill, says Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist. “They may lie to manage social situations or meet their own psychological needs of safety, security, or belonging.”
For instance, a compulsive liar may tell a quick lie to avoid discomfort or make up something to make them seem more desirable, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, and professor at Yeshiva University. “There are usually themes in their lies, such as: they are heroic, they have a lot of accomplishments, or they are deserving of sympathy.”
We asked the experts how to deal with compulsive liars and they recommended encouraging the person to get professional help, while also setting boundaries in your relationship with them to protect yourself.
This article explores the signs and causes of compulsive lying and suggests some strategies to help you deal with someone in your life who is a compulsive liar.
These are some of the signs that someone is lying, according to Dr. Romanoff:
•Telling stories with extensive details to make them seem more real
•Appearing anxious while speaking
•Frequently changing their story
•Saying one thing but doing another
•Being vague when questioned
Mental Health Conditions and Compulsive Lying
According to Dr. Daramus, people who lie compulsively may do so because they have a mental health condition such as: Personality disorders Anxiety disorders Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Substance use disorder Trauma However, it’s important to note that everyone who lies compulsively doesn’t necessarily have a mental health condition and everyone who has these mental health conditions isn’t necessarily a compulsive liar.
Lying as a Coping Skill
Many people who lie compulsively use it as a coping skill, because it protected them or solved a problem, perhaps when they were very young, says Dr. Daramus. “So, if someone is a compulsive liar, they’ve probably had to handle some tough situations where lying helped them cope or kept them safe.” A 2016 study notes that the brain gets accustomed to dishonesty. The researchers studied participants’ brains to see what happens when they lie and found that the more someone lies, the easier it becomes for them to tell bigger, more frequent lies.
Lying pathologically is not quite the same as lying compulsively. Below, Dr. Romanoff explains the difference between pathological liars and compulsive liars:
•Compulsive lying: Compulsive liars often lie out of habit, because it comes easily to them. They often lie in low-stakes situations where there is little to gain, beyond basic social impression management. These lies cause little immediate harm but erode trust over time.
•Pathological lying: Pathological liars are often motivated to lie for personal gain, to harm others, or to the detriment of those they deceive.
Why Most People Lie to Their Therapist (And Why You Should Tell the Truth)
Don’t Take It Personally
When you realize someone is lying to you, you may find yourself wondering what you did wrong or whether your behavior has anything to do with it. However, it’s important to avoid taking the person’s lies personally and remember that their compulsion to lie reflects more on them than it does on you, says Dr. Romanoff.
Explain How Their Lies Are Affecting You
If you do catch the person in a lie, try not to get frustrated and get into a back and forth of pulling for the truth, says Dr. Romanoff. Instead, talk to them and let them know how their lies are affecting you. For example, you could say: “I was angry and upset when I found out you lied to me.” “If you lie to me, it’s difficult for me to rely on you to get this done.” “It’s hard for me to trust that you’re telling me the truth now.”
Encourage Them to Get Help
Encourage the person to see a mental healthcare provider who can help them understand why they’re lying, diagnose whether they have an underlying mental disorder, and help them develop healthier coping mechanisms. You can make your connection with them contingent on their getting therapy with a trained professional, says Dr. Daramus.
Learn what compulsive lying is, why some people do it, and how to deal with it. Find out the signs, causes, and strategies to cope with compulsive liars in your life.
Aug 30, 2024 · A pathological liar is a liar who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little awareness. A compulsive liar is a habitual liar. Learn what is a pathological liar, what it means to be a compulsive liar, and how to tell the difference between the two.
Sep 15, 2022 · Pathological lying is a compulsive pattern of telling untruths that are difficult to stop. Learn how to spot, cope, and deal with a pathological liar, and what mental health conditions may be associated with it.
Apr 10, 2023 · A pathological liar is someone who lies compulsively and for no apparent reason. Learn how to identify, cope, and deal with someone who lies pathologically, and what causes and treatments are available.
- Adrienne Santos-Longhurst
Pathological lying, also known as pseudologia fantastica (Latin for "fantastic pseudology"), is a chronic behavior characterized by the habitual or compulsive tendency to lie. [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] It involves a pervasive pattern of intentionally making false statements with the aim to deceive others, sometimes for no clear or apparent reason ...
Dec 21, 2023 · Learn the difference between compulsive and pathological lying, two types of excessive and uncontrollable deception that can affect a person's life. Find out why people lie, how to recognize the signs, and how to cope with the consequences.