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  2. From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.

    • “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
    • "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
    • “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
    • “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
  3. Feb 22, 2021 · In-between the romance, the long nights, monotonous days, and bickering over who last did the laundry, there are truly some hilarious moments during a marriage that can be perfectly described...

  4. Nov 23, 2023 · Marriage is a blast. Like a bomb.” – Julieanne O’Connor. “There are a hundred paths through the world that are easier than loving. But who wants it easier?” – Mary Oliver. “Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.” – Alan King. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”

  5. Mar 17, 2021 · 1. “only Married People Can Understand How You Can Be Miserable And Happy At The Same Time." — Chris Rock. 2. “just Found Out The Wife Is Writing A Book About Our Honeymoon Called 50 Shades Of Just Ok.” —conan O’brien. 3. “i Love Being Married. It's So Great To Find That One Special Person You Want To Annoy For The Rest Of Your Life." — Rita Rudner

  6. Jan 30, 2024 · 1. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest perhaps they're too old to do it." - Ann Bancroft. 2. “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”

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