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- The golden child: the one who can do no wrong. In adulthood, this role often manifests as perfectionism and a low sense of self. It is common for these people to become obsessively attached to others, as they learned to get their value and worth from external sources.
- The hero: the one who “proves” to the rest of the world the family is all right. They hold onto an idea like, “If little Jimmy is a football star, then our family can’t be that bad.”
- The mascot: the one who diffuses conflict in the family. Skilled with humor and other methods of deflection, they are able to draw attention toward themselves and away from where it could turn volatile.
- The identified patient: the person who is frequently the family’s “reason” for having problems or perhaps their reason for coming to therapy: “We're here because Bobby has a substance abuse problem,” is often heard in the therapeutic setting.
Nov 25, 2020 · Verdiano (1987) described four roles children might adopt. The “hero” typically tries to be a high achiever out of a desire to please the parents rather than out of intrinsic motivation, the “scapegoat” is nonconformist and rebellious and acts out as the catalyst for problems inherent in the family system, the “lost child” tends to be emotionally sensitive and might feel overlooked ...
- Hanna Zagefka, Joshua Jones, Alara Caglar, Ritu Girish, Carly Matos
- 2021
- The Narcissist (or Borderline).
- The Addict.
- The Co-Dependent (aka The Enabler).
- The Caretaker.
- The Golden Child (aka The Hero).
- The Rebel (aka The Defender).
- The Waif.
- The Black Sheep / Scapegoat.
- The Clown.
- The Peacemaker.
This is one of the most common roles in dysfunctional families. In fact, dysfunction often centers around the narcissist who’s at the hub of it all. In healthy families, parents are fairly emotionally stable and can provide their spouses and children with emotional support and encouragement. In contrast, a narcissist sees their partner and children...
Sometimes, a dysfunctional family revolves around the addict at the center. Alternatively, there may be a dynamic in which there are both an addict and a narcissist involved. Quite often, a spouse or child of a narcissist will develop an addiction (such as alcohol dependency) to deal with the narcissist’s behavior. This exacerbates the dysfunction ...
This is most often the spouse or partner to the addict or narcissist, but can also be an adult child. For example, if the narcissist is a grandparent living in an extended family unit, then the co-dependent or enabler might be one of their offspring. They’ll have a very co-dependent relationship with the main abuser, and will both fuel their unheal...
The caretaker role is very similar to the enabler, and some may say that they’re even interchangeable. Generally, however, the caretaker role is either foisted upon someone so it becomes their baseline standard, or taken on intentionally in an attempt to maintain peace in the house. In the former situation, it’s often a child that is parentified an...
Anyone who has done research into childhood abuse and dysfunctional families has come across the term “golden child.” It refers to the child in the family who can basically do no wrong in one or both parents’ eyes. This child’s entire existence revolves around being perfect so as not to draw anyone’s ire. They focus all their energy on being as att...
This role is the polar opposite of the caretaker or golden child. Instead of pandering to the abuser’s whims and/or being cowed by their mistreatment, they respond in the opposite way: with defiance. If there are several family members, the rebel will be the most likely to draw the abuser’s ire the most. The identified parent (IP) is the parent or ...
In contrast to the rebel or the golden child, the waif becomes the ultimate victim in the family. They’re in constant need of care, protection, even rescuing by the other family members, and they seem helpless in nearly every way. Instead of using defiance or escapism to deal with the abuse and familial dysfunction around them, they go the opposite...
We went into detail about what it means to be the black sheep of the family in another article (On Being The Black Sheep Of The Family: Signs, Effects, Coping Mechanisms), so we’ll just give a brief description of it here. In a dysfunctional family, the black sheep is generally the one who is blamed for all the family’s difficulties. It might be be...
This role often counterbalances the Black Sheep. More often than not, it’s a sibling who recognizes that their family member is being severely mistreated, and they try to redirect abuse by being silly and mischievous. It’s rather like distracting a toddler who’s having a tantrum by playing peekaboo or making a toy sing a song to make them laugh. Th...
“Can’t we all just try to get along?” is the peacemaker’s mantra. They’re quite often a parent or grandparent who’s trying to mitigate the damage being done by the addict or narcissist, and just wants to live in a happy, peaceful environment. Rather than being confrontational about the dysfunction going on around them, they’ll often be checked out....
- Catherine Winter
Oct 12, 2022 · Family systems theory states that the family is a complex system in which each member influences the other. So, instead of blaming one person for the dysfunction, it may...
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Nov 13, 2023 · The Bowen family systems theory, developed by psychiatrist Dr. Murray Bowen, offers profound insights into the dynamics of family relationships and how they shape our lives. This...
Aug 30, 2012 · In comic books, Tony’s alcohol dependence, his addiction to drink, nearly kills him. In movies, Tony has engaged in alcohol abuse, drunkenly endangering Iron Man 2 partygoers. How bad his ...
Oct 30, 2020 · Bruce Banner / Hulk. He is divided in two: a scientist genius who tries to control his aggression at any cost and ‘the other guy’, a green creature of phenomenal strength, totally hostage to his aggressive impulses. The human being, according to psychoanalysis, is a fundamentally divided being. On the one hand, there is awareness and social ...
