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- “There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?” – Conan O’Brien. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
- “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” – Robert Godden. This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
- “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘toys not included.'” – Bernard Manning. What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.
- “The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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Dec 25, 2022 · Get into the holiday spirit with these 100 funny Christmas quotes and sayings that will make you—and anyone you share them with—laugh.
Dec 21, 2021 · Looking for the perfect funny Christmas quotes to bring cheer to even the grumpiest Scrooge? These hilarious sayings will crack anyone up.
- Kelly Kuehn
- Naughty and Nice Quotes. "It's all fun and games 'til Santa checks the naughty list." – Unknown. “Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
- Christmas Tree Quotes. "Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." – Larry Wilde. “There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.”
- Christmas Gift Quotes. "Dear Santa, this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. You mixed those two up last year." – Unknown. "Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
- 'Tis the Season. "Don't blame the holidays. You were fat in August." – Unknown. "Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard." – Andy Borowitz. “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
- Funny Christmas Quotes
- Short Funny Christmas Quotes
- Funny Christmas Quotes from Movies and TV Shows
"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell." — George Bernard Shaw"We got so caught up in the little things of Christmas, like love and family, that we almost forgot that it's buying things that makes our economy thrive." — Diana Choksondik, "South Park: A Very C..."They're a little weird. They don't believe in gifts or Christmas trees. And they think Santa's how Satan spells his name when he wants to trick us." — Ted Mosby, "How I Met Your Mother""Got all my Christmas shopping done. Now to shop for other people." — Conan O'Brien“At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” — Robert Godden“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns“Santa Claus has the right idea — visit people only once a year.” — Victor Borge“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? — Clark Griswold, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”"I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”“How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter bunny?” — Santa Claus, “Home Alone”- Sarah Lemire
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- Lifestyle Reporter, SEO
Jul 9, 2024 · ”The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” — Andy Borowitz. “Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.” – Fanny Wright. “Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate.
Dec 8, 2023 · Christmas brings an abundance of joy and laughter into the lives of those who celebrate! Read these funny Christmas quotes that will make your family laugh!
