Gregg Martin
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Open Relationship: With Gregg Martin, Jennie Marie Pacelli, Chris Boudreaux, Rick Shattuck. A meticulous man steps out of his comfort zone to explore an open relationship with a whimsical, free-spirited woman, leading to a comedy of contrasts and love's complexities.
- Comedy
- 2019-05-06
May 31, 2024 · Many people around the globe are discovering the complex beauty of ethical non-monogamy or polyamory with the help of some TV shows and films that portray unconventional relationship...
Mar 22, 2024 · Find out more shows and movies that are normalizing polyamory and open relationships below!
- Overview
- Dos in an Open Relationship
- Don’ts in an open relationship
- Are open relationships more likely to fail?
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Despite some lingering stigma, many people find an open relationship—in which a person and their partner consent to having romantic or sexual connections with others—very fulfilling. This relationship structure is also commonly known as ethical non-monogamy (ENM) or consensual non-monogamy (CNM).
A 2023 study from YouGov America found that 12% of adults have engaged sexually with someone who wasn’t their primary partner—but with their permission. Whether or not they want an open relationship themselves, most people (82%) approve of them.
While the debate over if humans are naturally monogamous—30% of people said no—is a big one, normalizing open relationships provides each person with a safe space to decide about monogamy for themselves.
With mainstream acceptance comes a further conversation about what makes an open relationship successful. Each person will have a different idea of what they want an open relationship to look like.
Certain guidelines can simply help with figuring it out. To that end, read on for open relationship rules to follow to keep you and your partner feeling happy and respected.
Know why you want an open relationship
Understanding why you are seeking an open relationship before you start one is critical. “Take a moment to be honest with yourself about your desires and needs,” says Shan Boodram, Bumble’s Sex & Relationships Expert, a certified sex educator, dating coach, and intimacy expert. “Are you hoping to explore your sexuality, or do you want to experience different types of relationships with other people? Or are you hoping to fix a broken relationship, avoid commitment, or feel pressure from your partner?” If it’s the latter, it’s going to be a rocky road ahead. An open relationship can be great when it’s something you want to do, not something you think you should do.
Set boundaries
It’s not enough to say, “Let’s have an open relationship.” A successful open relationship requires clear, communicated boundaries. They “set the relationship up for success because they provide a roadmap of what each partner expects from the relationship,” says Lauren Consul, JD, a licensed marriage & family therapist specializing in infidelity and consensual non-monogamy. The boundaries can be adapted as you go, says Nirmala Bijraj, LMHC, NCC, a relationship and communication therapist specializing in working with open, non-monogamous, and polyamorous relationships. At first, you might not want to hear anything about your partner’s encounters, but later on, you might like to share a bit. Of course, this also depends on whether your partner is comfortable discussing this.
Regularly check in with your partner
On that note, it’s good to have check-ins with your partner. “What you thought you might like in theory may not actually be something you do like in reality, or vice versa,” says Consul. “Or you might have been OK with something at one point, but something has changed, and you’re no longer OK with it.” These will be vulnerable, honest conversations.
Rush into it too fast
Take your time dipping your toe into the pool of open relationships as you decide what you and your partner want. “Maybe you want to date multiple people, or you only want to explore sexually but not necessarily emotionally, or maybe you aren’t quite sure what you want yet,” says Consul. Take a small step, check in with yourself and your partner, and go from there.
Think opening your relationship means there’s something wrong with it
According to Boodram, this might cause you to think, “If I say yes to being in an open relationship, am I also admitting that we aren’t enough for each other?” You’re not looking for a new partner—if you are, this isn’t the move—but intimate encounters with other people who can add something a little different to your life. “You can accept your partner and partnership as perfect for what they are, but you can also be interested in experiencing more,” adds Boodram.
Dismiss your partner’s feelings
The conversation about non-monogamy doesn’t end just because you and your partner decided to be in an open relationship. Give your partner the space to discuss things that may be bothering them or boundaries they’re trying to create, says Bijraj.
An open relationship is not destined or more likely to fail by any means. Instead, open relationships may break down when seen as a safety rope for their relationship versus actually wanting to be in one. “Some couples use it as a last-ditch effort to save the relationship but don’t actually address the underlying issues in the relationship that are causing problems,” says Consul.
People in open relationships can experience more openness and discussion around boundaries than monogamous couples due to the guidelines needed when starting one. Boundaries are just as crucial in monogamous relationships, says Consul, but without a clear impetus, they can go undiscussed.
Everyone needs to be in consensual and relational agreement when exploring options beyond monogamy. A one-sided open relationship —in which only one partner dates other people—exists, but it comes with unique challenges. For example, the monogamous partner may feel disrespected or upset if they feel they are not a priority or getting as much care or attention.
Each relationship is unique based on its circumstances and the people involved in it. A successful open relationship is one in which you feel cared for, respected, and safe and supported to share and communicate in. Take the time to determine what’s right for you and your partner.
How to Have a Happy, Healthy, and Successful Open Marriage
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Oct 19, 2018 · In the television adaptation, Joy and Alan decide to begin an open relationship, and as they both uncover new sides of themselves, it simultaneously brings them closer together.
- Jordan Lauf
Jul 1, 2022 · Open relationships can most often be explained as a relationship in which a couple “consents to external sex, but doesn't consent to external romantic love or commitment,” says polyamory...
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Feb 21, 2020 · The first says “open relationship” is an umbrella term that encapsulates all other forms of nonmonogamy, like monogam-ish, swingers, and polyamory. The idea is that monogamous means closed, and...
