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  1. However, in the spirit of lightheartedness, we’ve imagined some humorous “Confucius says” one-liners that playfully blend his wisdom with a touch of humor. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy these witty and comical Confucius sayings that will tickle your funny bone.

    • Funny Confucius Quotes About Everyday Problems
    • Funny Confucius Quotes About Life
    • Funny Confucius Quotes About Dating and Marriage
    • Funny Confucius Quotes About Cars and Driving
    • Hilarious Confucius Quotes

    #1. “Man with one chopstick go hungry.” #2.“Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.” #3. “He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat.” #4. “A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.” #5. “Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook.” #6. “Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.” #7. “If something happen but nobody post i...

    #13. “When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.” #14. “He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.” #15. “War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.” #16. “Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headac...

    #24. “When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason.” #25.“Passionate kiss like spider’s web soon lead to undoing of fly.” #26. “Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.” #27.“Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.” #28. “Man with athletic finger make broad jump.” #29. “Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy....

    #42. “Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!” #43.“I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.“ #44. “Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.” #45. “Man who get hit by car, get that run-down feeling.” #46. “Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind c...

    #47. “Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!” #48. “Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.” #49.“A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.” #50. “Man who give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach will abdicate.” #51.“Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.” #52. “Man who shoot off mouth must e...

  2. May 24, 2022. 3 min read. Funny 'Confucius Says' Jokes. Updated: Jun 22, 2023. We have put together the funniest collection of "Confucius Says" jokes. These jokes have been around for donkeys years and are still classic as ever. Firstly, who was Confucius?

  3. Apr 7, 2024 · By Delaney Jameson. Spread the love. “Confucius Says Jokes” tap into the timeless tradition of using wit to illuminate life’s complexities. How often do we find ourselves scrolling endlessly, seeking that spark of joy in a sea of mundane? These jokes, with their clever twists and playful insights, offer a refreshing plunge into humor.

  4. Mar 25, 2024 · “Confucius says: He who puts potatoes in oven, will get mashed potatoes.” These funny quotes by Confucius show that even the greatest philosophers can have a lighthearted side. Despite his serious teachings, Confucius knew the value of laughter and the importance of not taking life too seriously.

  5. #1. “War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.” #2. “He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat.” #3. “It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.” #4. “ Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. #5. “Man who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution in hand.”

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