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Nov 28, 2023 · Y'all ready for some Texas-sized laughs? Join us for the best Texas jokes that capture the grand spirit from the Panhandle to the Gulf Coast.
4 days ago · Texas comedians often take up the profession with a chip on their shoulder but can deliver jokes with the best of them. From charming Southern accents to The Alamo references to Don't Mess With Texas jokes, these Texas comics can seriously make audiences laugh.
- Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggie!
- What did one Texas flag say to the other? Nothing, flags can’t talk!
- Why don’t they have ice cubes in Texas? Because the cowboys keep shooting at the ice trays!
- How do you find a Texan in a snowstorm? You look for the guy wearing a “Texas-sized” coat!
- “Y’all Better Believe These Texas Puns Hit The Bullseye”
- Tex-Puns: One-Liner Wonders
- Tex-Quiz Tacklers: Yee-Haw Texas Puns!
- Tex-Puns: Taking Wordplay to The Lone Star State
- Tex-Puns: Amusing Idioms from The Lone Star State
- Tex-Pun Strides!
- Tex-Pun-Tation
- Texans Twist Tongues with Spoonerisms: Punny Wordplay on The Lone Star State
- Texcellent Wordplay
- Tex-Puns Ahoy!
1. If you’re not from Texas, don’t “y’all” me how to live my life. 2. What do you call a turtle that’s in a hurry in Texas? A Tex-azz (Texas)! 3. We do things bigger in Texas. I wouldn’t be surprised if we had the largest number of pun lovers, too. 4. Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggie. 5. If everything is big...
1. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator, just like the Texas Rangers! 2. I’m Texas bound, y’all–don’t mess with my plans! 3. What’s a Texan’s favorite kind of math? Cow-culations! 4. Why don’t they teach drivers’ education and sex ed on the same day in Texas? Because it’s too hard on the mules. 5. I taught my dog to play cards. ...
1. Why did the Texan refuse to play poker? Because he thought it was too Tex-ash-ing. 2. Why did the cowboy adopt a hedgehog? Because he heard they were good with lariats. 3. What do you call a group of cowboys with a fever? The Tex-ass heat. 4. Why was the cowboy always hungry? Because he was always saddling up to the bar-be-cue. 5. What do they c...
1. You must be from Texas because you’re the whole package steak and sizzle. 2. “I couldn’t find my boots this morning, looks like someone’s trying to spur me on.” 3. “I’m like the Alamo, you don’t want to mess with me.” 4. Being a Texas native, I don’t believe in subtle hints; I’m as blunt as a butter knife. 5. “Don’t mess with me unless you want ...
1. Don’t mess with Texas, or you’ll get a misdemeanor. 2. After working in the sun all day, I was hotter than a Texas summer. 3. That politician is all hat and no cattle. 4. We were so hungry, we could have eaten a Texas-sized portion. 5. She was so bored, she would have watched paint dry, Texas style. 6. He was quicker than a rattlesnake in a Texa...
1. Why did the cowboy break up with his girlfriend? Because she was acting a little horse. 2. Why did the cowboy refuse to swim in the Lone Star State? He was afraid of treading oil. 3. Why did the Texas farmer buy a watermelon? So he could have a seedless rodeo. 4. What do you call a fake noodle in Texas? An impasta. 5. Why did the cowboy run away...
1. Tex Mex-ican stand off 2. Alamo-st famous battle in Texas 3. Hail Mary Jane- Texas state flower is bluebonnet 4. Austin-tatious- Austin is the capital of Texas 5. Dallas-tination- Dallas is a popular tourist spot 6. Lone star-struck 7. Deep in the heart of Tex-ass 8. Rodeo-drive through 9. Y’all-gator- alligator is native to Texas 10. Corpus Chr...
1. Waxas Texans 2. Chippi Taco 3. San Anlone 4. Dullas Mavern 5. Tew Braunsfels 6. Bustin Elmo 7. Corpus Christi, Crust of Piss 8. Antone’s plays Snorlax music 9. Bloat N’ Blow BBQ 10. Lake Texarkana 11. Fort Smitty 12. Tiny Texarcana 13. The Dallas Fowl Boys 14. Sod Palls 15. Coon Cugar 16. Oilbilly Trashcan Band 17. Texssippi 18. Champclarks 19. ...
1. “I don’t mind the heat,” said Tom, Texan-ly. 2. “This chili is too spicy,” said Tom, blandly. 3. “I’m from El Paso,” said Tom, bordering on the subject. 4. “I used to have a horse,” said Tom, neigh-sayer. 5. “These boots were made for walking,” said Tom, sole-fully. 6. “I’m feeling yee-hawful today,” said Tom, cowboy-ing up. 7. “The state fair i...
1. Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy for his Texas hotdogs. 2. What do you call a Texan knight? Sir Loin. 3. What do you call a Texan astronaut’s favorite meal? Houston steak. 4. Why did the cowboy buy a duster coat? He wanted to keep his Texas red dirt off his clothes. 5. Why don’t they have fireworks at Texa...
Gone to Texas! (2021) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more.
Gone to Texas - Full Cast & Crew. Sam Elliott stars in the story of Sam Houston's role in the Texas rebellion against Mexico. Andrew Jackson: G.D. Spradlin. Jim Bowie: Michael Beck. Stephen...
Jan 2, 2022 · Gone to Texas (1986) Mark Franklin January 2, 2022 1980s. Sam Elliott is Sam Houston in this TV movie about his life from 1829 through 1836. As the story begins, he’s governor of Tennessee, marrying pretty Eliza Allen, a woman half his age and the daughter of a wealthy landowner.
