Search results
May 16, 2012 · Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been, or wishing we could undo a previous...
Dec 20, 2019 · It means that you're involved in making serious decisions. In fact, one could argue that having no regrets is a sign of having not lived fully. Regret is a common...
You take the risk or suffer the regret. Action: Write down a risk you’re considering. Ask yourself three questions: 1) Does a threat exist? 2) Is it worth a fight? 3) If I fight, can I make a difference? If you get 3 “yes’s,” you’re “possible risk” has moved into the category of being a “possibly intelligent risk.”
- Overview
- What Is Regret?
- Tips for Coping With Regret
- What Causes Regret?
- What Do People Regret Most?
- Impact of Regret
- Takeaway
Trending Videos
Life is full of choices and paths not taken, so it isn’t surprising that people sometimes feel regret over both the decisions they made and the ones they didn’t.
Regret can be an incredibly painful emotion. While rooted in feelings of contrition, disappointment, guilt, or remorse for things that have happened in the past, such feelings can have a powerful influence over your life in the here and now. The problem is that when you are feeling regret over past choices or past mistakes, you might sometimes miss out on the joys of the present moment.
Learn more about the power of regret, what causes it, and what you can do to cope.
Get Help Now
We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.
Regret is defined as an aversive emotion focused on the belief that some event from the past could have been changed in order to produce a more desirable outcome.
It is a type of counterfactual thinking, which involves imagining the ways your life might have gone differently. Sometimes counterfactual thinking might mean appreciating your good luck at avoiding disaster, but at other times it focuses on being disappointed or regretful.
While you can’t avoid regret, there are things that you can do to minimize these feelings. Or take the negativity out of these feelings and turn your regrets into opportunities for growth and change.
Regret is most often characterized as a negative emotion, but it can serve an important function and even act as a positive force in your life at times. For example, regret can be motivating. It can drive you to overcome past mistakes or take action to correct them
Anytime you are required to make a choice, there is an opportunity for regret. Did you make the right decision? Could things have turned out better? Would you be happier if you’d chosen differently?
Such regrets sometimes center on the mundane (like whether you should have had the soup or the sandwich for lunch) to the life-altering (like whether you should have picked a different career or married a different partner).
But what exactly causes people to regret some decisions and not others? According to researchers, opportunity itself plays a major role.
If the decision was out of your hands or largely influenced by outside forces, you're less likely to feel regretful about what happened. The reason for this is that processes such as cognitive dissonance and rationalization kick in to unconsciously minimize your personal responsibility for the outcome.
For example, if you buy an item knowing you cannot return it, you're less likely to regret your purchase. According to researchers, people often unconsciously suppress or distort many of life's daily regrets without even realizing that it is happening.
It is when you have more opportunities to change your mind, such as when you know you can return an item and pick something different, that you are more likely to wish you had chosen differently. Researchers refer to this as the opportunity principle, which suggests that more opportunity leads to more regrets.
In an older study published in 2008, researchers analyzed archival data to learn more about which areas were most likely to trigger feelings of regret. The results indicated that the six most common regrets were centered in the areas of education, career, romance, parenting, the self, and leisure. Beyond those top six, regrets then centered on the topics of finance, family, health, friends, spirituality, and community.
Interestingly, people are often more likely to regret inaction than action. For example, you're more likely to regret not choosing a certain career or not asking out someone you were interested in than to feel regret over the job and partner you did choose. This is because actions not taken are more subject to imagined outcomes.
Regret can take both a physical and emotional toll on your body and mind. Feelings of regret can often lead to physical symptoms such as muscle tension, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, headaches, muscle pain, joint pain, and chronic stress.
Studies have shown that persistent regret can increase your risk of problems with breathing issues, chest pain, joint pain, and poorer overall health.
Constantly ruminating on past regret can lead to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, helplessness, and feelings of hopelessness.
Fear of future regret can also affect your behavior. Anticipated regret, or the belief that you will regret something in the future, can also play a role in risk-taking and health-related behaviors you engage in today.
When people think taking an action will lead to greater regret, they are less likely to engage in risky behavior. And when people think that not taking action will lead to feelings of regret (such as not taking care of their health or not engaging in regular exercise), they become more likely to take steps to avoid those anticipated regrets.
Studies have also found that concern about anticipated regret can influence the decisions that people make on the behalf of others. When people are worried that people are going to be disappointed or regretful, they are more likely to make more conservative choices.
Regret is an aversive emotion that can be difficult to overcome. "Accept life, and you must accept regret," said the philosopher Henri-Frédéric Amiel. While regret is an unavoidable consequence of living life and making choices, you can find ways to cope with these feelings and even turn them into opportunities for growth.
Learning to accept your feelings, forgiving yourself for mistakes, and taking steps to learn from your experiences can help minimize many of the negative feelings associated with regret. While you may not truly be able to live life with "no regrets," you can change how you think about the things you might have changed and learn to focus on the present moment instead of ruminating over the past.
What Is a Guilt Complex?
9 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
1.Roese NJ, Summerville A. What we regret most... and why. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2005;31(9):1273-1285. doi:10.1177/0146167205274693
Jan 7, 2022 · Remorse and sorrow from a bad choice can haunt you for years, even decades. But there are evidence-based ways to move past regret.
Aug 23, 2023 · Mental rumination often goes along with regret, leaving us in a dead-end loop with no solution. Instead of being stuck in regret, six antidotes to it can ease the way forward.
People also ask
What does it mean if you have no regrets?
Is regret a good thing?
What does regret mean in life?
How to avoid feelings of regret?
Apr 24, 2023 · If you're experiencing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings due to regret, you're not alone. Self-forgiveness and making amends are a few ways to cope.
