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  1. Discover P. J. O'Rourke famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by P. J. O'Rourke and quotations about liberty and journalism. "The Democrats are the party that says government..."

    • Age

      Age - TOP 25 QUOTES BY P. J. O'ROURKE (of 643) | A-Z Quotes

    • Poverty

      Poverty - TOP 25 QUOTES BY P. J. O'ROURKE (of 643) | A-Z...

    • Writing

      Writing - TOP 25 QUOTES BY P. J. O'ROURKE (of 643) | A-Z...

    • Politics

      P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone...

  2. Nov 14, 2016 · Find and share the best quotes by P. J. O'Rourke, an American comedian and author known for his satirical and libertarian views. Browse topics such as politics, humor, cars, and more.

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    • “Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” ― P. J. O'Rourke.
    • “No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”
    • “Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.” ― P.J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World.
    • “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.” ― P. J. O'Rourke.
    • Modern Manners
    • The Bachelor Home Companion
    • Republican Party Reptile
    • Holidays in Hell
    • Parliament of Whores
    • Give War A Chance
    • The Liberty Manifesto
    • All The Trouble in The World
    • Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and A Bad Haircut
    • Why I Am A Conservative
    Modern Manners : An Etiquette Book for Rude People
    A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.
    A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
    Weird clothing is de rigeurfor teenagers, but today's generation of teens is finding it difficult to be sufficiently weird. This is because the previous generation of teens, who went through adoles...
    Full title: The Bachelor Home Companion. A practical guide to keeping house like a pig.
    A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails.
    A steady job is at least as deleterious to the spirit of bachelorhood as a steady date. Some jobs are worse than actual wives.
    Bachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is what my girlfriend said when she found the gin bottles under the couch. I be...

    A child growing up in an excessively safe environment may never learn that he is one — not until he gets married and has a wife to tell him so.

    Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof.
    Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.
    Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the res...
    Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.
    I am no stranger to loud noise. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.

    There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound reasonable, in large part, because so many of them...

    The second item in the liberal creed, after self-righteousness, is unaccountability. Liberals have invented whole college majors— psychology, sociology, women's studies— to prove that nothing is an...

    Speech delivered May 6, 1993 for the opening of the Cato Institute's headquarters in Washington, D.C.
    Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free a...
    There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
    There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands to yourself, Bill. Hillary, mind your own business.

    All the Trouble in the World. The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague and Poverty. Things are better now than things have been since men began keeping track of things. Things are better than they were only a few years ago. Things are better, in fact, than they were at 9:30 this morning, thanks to Tylen...

    O'Rourke, P. J. (1996). Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut (1st edition ed.). New York: Atlantic Monthly Press. pp. 368 pp.. ISBN 978-0-87113-653-4.
    Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby.
    We’re told cars are dangerous. It’s safer to drive through South Central Los Angeles than to walk there. We’re told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground...
    O'Rourke, P. J. (1996). Why I Am a Conservative(1st edition ed.). Second Thoughts Books. pp. 24 pp.. 978-1886442085.
    There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as caring and sensitive because he wants to expand the government's c...
    • Sanjay Dubey
    • All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. - P. J. O’Rourke. Change is necessary in life. Only those who can adapt to the changing times will have a stand in this world.
    • When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - P. J. O’Rourke. When legislators and the government control the market, the first ones to be sold will always be those in power.
    • Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. - P. J. O’Rourke. They say politics is a dirty game and there’s nothing truer than that.
    • One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling. - P. J. O’Rourke.
  3. Mar 17, 2021 · PJ O'Rourke is an American journalist and political satirist who writes humorously about democracy, government, and life. Browse his quotes on topics such as growing up, freedom, and travel.

  4. Find the best quotes by P. J. O'Rourke, a satirist and political commentator, on topics such as government, drugs, education, and politics. See his witty and provocative humor and insights on life and society.

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