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Aug 1, 2024 · Learn how criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling can destroy your relationship and how to recognize and avoid them. The Gottman Institute offers research-based tools and communication skills to transform your relationship.
Apr 26, 2013 · Learn how to manage conflict in your relationship by identifying and counteracting the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Find out the antidotes for each horseman and download a free PDF version of the guide.
- A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blam...
- Contempt shows up in statements that come from a position of moral superiority. Some examples of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling,...
- Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in attempt to ward off a perceived attack....
- Stonewalling is when someone completely withdraws from a conflict discussion and no longer responds to their partner. It usually happens when you’r...
- Now that you know what the Four Horsemen are and how to counteract them with their proven antidotes, you’ve got the essential tools to manage confl...
Learn how to identify and avoid the four horsemen of the apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, according to John Gottman's research. Find out how to use gentle start-up, repair attempts, and de-escalation techniques to improve your relationship.
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Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen and the number one predictor of divorce, according to Dr. John Gottman. Learn how to recognize, avoid, and overcome contempt with the antidotes of describing feelings and needs, and building fondness and admiration.
- Criticism. The first of the four horsemen is criticism. Criticism is the act of noticing a problem within your life or the relationship and turning it into a commentary of your partner's character trait flaws.
- Defensiveness. Defensiveness is a reaction to perceived criticism. Sometimes the criticism is actually there, and sometimes it's simply a projection. When people get defensive, they might
- Stonewalling. The next of the four horsemen is stonewalling. Stonewalling is exactly as it sounds: when someone in the conversation starts to act like a stone wall.
- Contempt. Contempt is the most dangerous of all of the four horsemen. At minimum, it is very mean, and at worst, it becomes emotional abuse. According to Gottman's research, contempt has shown to be the biggest indicator of divorce.
Learn about Gottman's Four Horsemen, a theory of negative communication styles that lead to relationship breakdown. Find out how criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling affect marital satisfaction and divorce prediction.
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Dec 15, 2014 · Certain negative communication styles are so lethal to a relationship that Dr. John Gottman calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They predict relationship failure with over 90%...
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