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Feb 20, 2024 · Did you just graduate? Get a promotion? Rent a cool new apartment? If your mom can’t be bothered to congratulate you, it counts as toxic.
- Shaming and Blaming. This may start in childhood, magnifying small mishaps into full-scale dress-downs in front of other people or simply blaming the daughter for her mistake by attributing it to her flawed nature; shaming is highly personalized and usually expressed as “You always” or “You never.”
- Guilt-Tripping. This is Mom playing the victim and the child being reminded how derelict she is, most usually after “all” the mother has done for her.
- Playing the Comparison Game. Favoritism in families isn’t limited to drama queen mothers; it even happens in healthy and loving families often enough that Parental Differential Treatment has an acronym for ease—PDT.
- Covert or Passive Aggression. The mother may display passive or covert aggression toward her child—most of the behaviors listed here don’t involve screaming or yelling—but I have included this because children’s development is directly affected by how parents relate to each other and to others in the family.
- Figure Out Your Boundaries. It may be difficult to tear yourself away from your mother’s behavior, much less have the guts to set up healthy boundaries — especially if you’ve been dealing with her toxicity for a long time.
- Have A Serious Conversation With Her. Find a time — preferably in a neutral setting, like a coffee shop — where you can have a heart-to-heart with your mom about how her behavior makes you feel.
- Limit The Amount Of Time You Spend Together. If your mom is unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries, that’s when you’ll want to start limiting the amount of time you spend together.
- Pick & Choose What You Tell Her. When you’re dealing with a toxic relationship, you may want to limit what you talk about with your mom. “It can be helpful to reflect upon past experiences where you have shared personal information with her,” Jennifer Grant Schliessman, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle.
Jul 10, 2024 · Having a toxic mother is a reality that many people struggle with. Luckily, there are a few things you can do to relieve the stress of it all—like setting boundaries.
- She’s manipulative. A toxic mom is a professional manipulator. She will say things to change your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors in order to benefit herself.
- She puts you down or criticizes you. Do you feel judged by your mom? This is a classic toxic mom trait. She has a comment for everything. And that comment is always negative.
- She plays the victim. Your mom is likely toxic if she continually plays the role of a victim. She might have the attitude of the world is always out to get her.
- She disregards boundaries. A toxic mom will completely ignore boundaries. She might come over unexpectedly, share things you told her in confidence, or tell you inappropriate stories about her friends or family members.
May 4, 2022 · If you recognize some of these toxic traits in your parents, there are ways to cope with these behaviors. Consider trying the following strategies: 1. Stop trying to please them. It’s natural to ...
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Oct 24, 2016 · The core conflict in the daughter whose mother didn’t love her remains between her continuing need for the love and support she missed and her need to protect, heal, and reclaim her authentic...
