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Mar 13, 2024 · Learn what letting go means in spiritual and psychological terms, why it is hard to do, and how it can benefit your mental health. Explore the concepts of nonattachment, acceptance, forgiveness, self-compassion, and gratitude, and discover practical tips and exercises to let go of your desires and attachments.
- Understand that the relationships you thought you’d have are going to be different than the ones you actually have. We must accept the person we are in this moment and the way other people are, too.
- Don’t be invested in the outcome when it comes to dealing with people, because it often leads to disappointment. Expectations have a way of keeping us stuck because they lead us to fear certain outcomes.
- Don’t live in chains when you have the key. We live with self-limiting beliefs that we let define who we are. We think, "I could never do that!" or "I could never make that happen!"
- Let go of the idea that you can control others’ actions. We really only have control over ourselves and how we act. You can’t change another person, so don’t waste your time and energy trying.
- Create A Positive Mantra to Counter The Painful Thoughts
- Create Physical Distance
- Do Your Own Work
- Practice Mindfulness
- Be Gentle with Yourself
- Allow The Negative Emotions to Flow
- Accept That The Other Person May Not Apologize
- Engage in Self-Care
- Surround Yourself with People Who Fill You Up
- Give Yourself Permission to Talk About It
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How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortun...
It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset. According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD, that’s not such a bad idea. “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple...
Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.
The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us. “When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,” she adds.
If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Olivera says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others. “Hurt is inev...
If your fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry; you’re not alone. In fact, Durvasula says that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. “These negative emoti...
Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.
When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. “The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’...
This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either, explains Manly. “Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.”
When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it. Durvasula says sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it. “This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or [the person is] embarrassed or ashame...
Learn 12 tips for letting go of emotional pain and moving on from past hurts. Find out how to create a positive mantra, practice mindfulness, accept apologies, and seek professional help.
- Allow yourself to scream. Find a private place to unleash your emotions. If you’re too embarrassed to scream out loud, get your pillow and bury your head into it.
- Watch something that makes you cry. Sadness is the emotion that often forms a sandwich around anger. In other words, anger is often a form of sadness and vice versa.
- Write an enraged letter. Let out your rage through writing. Detail every little thing that you’re angry about and don’t hold back your feelings. Curse, condemn, and threaten the person or situation as much as you like until you’ve exhausted your feelings.
- Fire ritual. On a small piece of paper, write down the name of a person who has provoked great anger inside of you. Light a candle and drop the piece of paper into the flame, watching as it burns and curls up into ash.
- Letting go of trauma? Holding onto trauma means holding onto old identities. Letting go is so important, and so elusive when people are inside of restrictive narratives of victimization.
- Letting go of pathological narcissism. Letting go is threatening because—even if we’ve lived with the growing awareness that whatever we are holding on to is atavistic, outgrown—it feels as if letting go means reliving the original injury.
- Breaking isn't (usually) the way to go. Rather than “breaking the pattern,” the pattern gradually softens and re-shapes itself. Letting go is more gentle, generous, and self-compassionate than coercively ripping away something dear.
- What actually is the act of letting go? There are many ways to contemplate the act of letting go. A key element of letting go is recognizing the presence of what might be called a pathological need.
Mar 7, 2024 · Published on March 07, 2024. Reviewed by. Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS. Print. Alexander Spatari/Moment/Getty Images. View All. Why Letting Go Is Important. Step-By-Step Guide to Letting Go of the Past. Additional Tips for Emotional Healing. We have a natural tendency to dwell on the past.
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Learn what it means to let go and why it's hard to do. Find tips and examples for letting go of the past, the future, and someone you love.
