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New International Version. Update. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes ...
Rumi. Love is the flower you've got to let grow. John Lennon. Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. Martin Luther King, Jr. The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
- Overview
- How Do You Know You're Feeling Love for Someone?
- Are There Different Types of Love?
- Is Love Influenced By Biology or Culture?
- How to Show Love to Another Person
- How Love Impacts Your Mental Health
- Tips for Cultivating Love
- Negative Emotions Associated With Love
- History of Love
- Take the Love Quiz
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When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.
Many say it's not an emotion in the way we typically understand them, but an essential physiological drive.
Love is a physiological motivation such as hunger, thirst, sleep, and sex drive.
— PSYCHOLOGIST AND BIOLOGIST ENRIQUE BURUNAT
There are countless songs, books, poems, and other works of art about love (you probably have one in mind as we speak!). Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.
Zick Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving
According to psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements: Attachment: Needing to be with another person and desiring physical contact and approval Caring: Valuing the other person's happiness and needs as much as your own Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person Based on this view of romantic love, Rubin developed two questionnaires to measure these variables, known as Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving. While people tend to view people they like as pleasant, love is marked by being devoted, possessive, and confiding in one another.
Yup—not all forms of love are the same, and psychologists have identified a number of different types of love that people may experience.
These types of love include:
•Friendship: This type of love involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of intimacy.
•Infatuation: This form of love often involves intense feelings of attraction without a sense of commitment; it often takes place early in a relationship and may deepen into a more lasting love.
•Passionate love: This type of love is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction; it often involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical closeness.
•Compassionate/companionate love: This form of love is marked by trust, affection, intimacy, and commitment.
Love is most likely influenced by both biology and culture. Although hormones and biology are important, the way we express and experience love is also influenced by our own conceptions of love.
Some researchers suggest that love is a basic human emotion just like happiness or anger, while others believe that it is a cultural phenomenon that arises partly due to social pressures and expectations.
There is no single way to practice love. Every relationship is unique, and each person brings their own history and needs. Some things that you can do to show love to the people you care about include:
•Be willing to be vulnerable.
•Be willing to forgive.
•Do your best, and be willing to apologize when you make mistakes.
•Let them know that you care.
•Listen to what they have to say.
Love, attachment, and affection have an important impact on well-being and quality of life. Loving relationships have been linked to:
•Lower risk of heart disease
•Decreased risk of dying after a heart attack
•Better health habits
•Increased longevity
•Lower stress levels
Lasting relationships are marked by deep levels of trust, commitment, and intimacy. Some things that you can do to help cultivate loving relationships include:
•Try loving-kindness meditation. Loving-kindness meditation (LKM) is a technique often used to promote self-acceptance and reduce stress, but it has also been shown to promote a variety of positive emotions and improve interpersonal relationships. LKM involves meditating while thinking about a person you love or care about, concentrating on warm feelings and your desire for their well-being and happiness.
•Communicate. Everyone's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs and your loved one's needs are met is to talk about them. Helping another person feel loved involves communicating that love to them through words and deeds. Some ways to do this include showing that you care, making them feel special, telling them they are loved, and doing things for them.
•Tackle conflict in a healthy way. Never arguing is not necessarily a sign of a healthy relationship—more often than not, it means that people are avoiding an issue rather than discussing it. Rather than avoid conflict, focus on hashing out issues in ways that are healthy in order to move a relationship forward in a positive way.
As Shakespeare said, the course of love never did run smooth. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress.
No relationship is perfect, so there will always be problems, conflicts, misunderstandings, and disappointments that can lead to distress or heartbreak.
Some of the potential pitfalls of experiencing love include:
•Anxiety
•Depression
•Increased stress
Only fairly recently has love become the subject of science. In the past, the study of love was left to "the creative writer to depict for us the necessary conditions for loving," according to Sigmund Freud. "In consequence, it becomes inevitable that science should concern herself with the same materials whose treatment by artists has given enjoyment to mankind for thousands of years," he added.
Research on love has grown tremendously since Freud's remarks. But early explorations into the nature and reasons for love drew considerable criticism. During the 1970s, U.S. Senator William Proxmire railed against researchers who were studying love and derided the work as a waste of taxpayer dollars.
Our fast and free quiz can help you determine if what you've got is the real deal or simply a temporary fling or infatuation.
As a Relationship Coach, These Are the 5 Things About Love I Tell Every Couple
13 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
1.Burunat E. Love is not an emotion. Psychology. 2016;07(14):1883. doi:10.4236/psych.2016.714173
2.Karandashev V. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. ORPC. 2015;5(4):1-21. doi:10.9707/2307-0919.1135
Sep 20, 2022 · Love is a powerful, complex emotional experience that involves changes in your body chemistry, including your neurotransmitters (brain chemicals). It impacts your social relationships in varied...
- Nancy Lovering
Nov 25, 2011 · What Is Love, and What Isn't? Once you know what it is, you can recognize and pursue it. Posted November 25, 2011 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Key points. Love is bigger than you are. You can invite...
Aug 7, 2020 · Updated on August 07, 2020. "Love is patient, love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4–8) is a favorite Bible verse about love. It is used often in Christian wedding ceremonies. In this famous passage, the Apostle Paul describes 15 characteristics of love to the believers in the church at Corinth.
Apr 8, 2005 · 1. Preliminary Distinctions. 2. Love as Union. 3. Love as Robust Concern. 4. Love as Valuing. 4.1 Love as Appraisal of Value. 4.2 Love as Bestowal of Value. 4.3 An Intermediate Position? 5. Emotion Views. 5.1 Love as Emotion Proper. 5.2 Love as Emotion Complex. 6. The Value and Justification of Love. Bibliography. Academic Tools.
