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Feb 28, 2024 · Having mutual friends leads to a greater sense of belonging and connection, which can boost one’s mood and overall happiness. Engaging in regular interactions and shared experiences with mutual friends can create a support network, resulting in lower levels of loneliness and higher levels of life satisfaction.
A mutual friend is an individual who has established a friendship with two people. When those two people meet, they learn that they share the same friend; that friend they have in common is their mutual friend. If the two people become friends, a circle of friendship develops between the mutual friend and the other individuals.
- Overview
- The 4 Types of Friends
- Friendships Ebb and Flow
- Signs of a Good Friend
- Signs of a Bad Friend
- How to Know Someone Is No Longer a Good Friend
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We know that friendship is important to our health and happiness. In fact, research shows us that friends are as important to our well-being as family. However, friendship can span a ton of different types of relationships.
There are the friends we only meet at parties, and there are our ride-or-die BFFs. There are the friends we’ve grown up with, who know our lives inside out, and there are work friends whom we eat lunch with every day. There are friends we hang out with once in a while, and friends whom we can’t go a day without talking to.
All of these different types of friends play different roles in our lives. Whatever types of friends you have, it's important to know the signs of a good friend versus a bad friend, and how to know if someone isn’t a good friend anymore.
At a Glance
Acquaintances are people we know but haven’t really spent time with. Casual friends are the friends we hang out with at work or pottery class, for company and camaraderie. Close friends are our besties that we share everything with. Lifelong friends, or childhood friends, are practically family.
Acquaintances
Acquaintances are friends we’ve met a few times, either at parties or through mutual friends. We kinda sorta know their names and a little bit about their lives; however, we probably haven’t had any deep heart-to-heart conversations with them or spent much time with them one-on-one. Acquaintances are people whom we have surface-level interactions with, without any significant emotional involvement in the relationship, Melewski explains. Acquaintances can offer: Friendly interactions: We might have a friendly, casual chat with an acquaintance if we run into them at a party or a coffee shop. The vibe is typically easy breezy. Social media connections: We may like or comment on each other’s social media posts from time to time. Networking opportunities: We may occasionally help each other out with ideas, advice, or connections, particularly if we discover that we share a common hobby or interest.
Casual Friends
Casual or social friends are people we might befriend at the office, gym, or book club, for instance. We know more about the person than we would about an acquaintance; however, the foundation of the relationship often rests on shared environments or activities, like a sports team, a workplace, or a hobby group, Melewski explains. “The connection is more tied to the shared activity than a strong personal bond.” We might interact with these friends fairly regularly because of the shared environment or activity. As we get to know each other, we might start to chill with them before, during, or after the activity. Casual friends might offer: Companionship: Casual friends are our go-to people for activities such as getting lunch together at work or hitting up the neighborhood juice bar after yoga class. Shared interests: We might share common interests or hobbies with these friends. Whether it's a love for a particular sport, a hobby like baking, or an enthusiasm for a specific TV series, casual friends provide an outlet for discussing shared interests. Light-hearted conversation: We can engage in light and fun conversations with casual friends. These conversations may involve laughter and playful banter as we spend time together and discuss everyday topics. Low-pressure interactions: Unlike close friends or family members, there's less pressure and emotional investment in casual friendships. We can enjoy each other's company without the expectation of being intimately involved in each other's lives.
Close Friends
Close friends are our besties, the people in our inner circle. These are the friends that we bond with instantly, talk to often, share our struggles with, and confide our deepest darkest fears to. These are often the friends that our values most closely align with, Melewski explains. Close friends offer: Emotional support: Close friends are our emotional anchors. They provide a safe space where we can freely express our thoughts, feelings, and fears without worrying about being judged. Trust: These friends are the ones we can count on, no matter what. They’re loyal to us and have our back. Comfort: Close friends provide comfort and consolation in times of loss, heartbreak, and grief. They understand our pain and offer emotional and practical support. Fun: Close friendships are also characterized by a lot of fun and laughter. We have inside jokes, common interests, and a shared sense of humor. Quality time: Spending time with close friends is a priority. We enjoy each other's company and make an effort to connect regularly, whether over a meal, coffee, or a fun activity. These friends are our go-to people for celebrating birthdays, holidays, achievements, and special occasions. Advice: Close friends are our sounding boards. When we're considering an idea or facing a dilemma, they offer support, advice, guidance, and perspective. Love: Close friendships are built on a foundation of love and care. These friends accept us for who we are, flaws and all, and love us unconditionally. Our well-being is genuinely important to them. Accountability: Close friends hold us accountable for our actions and decisions. They give us honest feedback, helping us grow and make better choices. Their inputs come from a place of love and genuine concern. 8 Signs You've Found Your Platonic Soulmate
These categories aren’t necessarily permanent, fixed, or as clear-cut as we might want them to be—and that’s OK, says Melewski.
For instance, he explains that an acquaintance can become a close friend or a work colleague who starts off as a casual friend can become a best friend with time. "On the other hand, knowing someone from childhood doesn't always guarantee an intimate connection. Childhood friends need more than history; they require mutual support and effort."
He adds that relationships, friendships included, are destined to naturally ebb and flow, aligning with one's personal growth. “For example, how we are able to show up in a friendship when we are in high school or in our college years may look different than when we are in the throes of new parenthood or a demanding career.”
How to Reconnect With An Old Friend Without Making It Awkward
If you’re trying to determine whether someone is a good friend, Melewski recommends asking yourself the following questions:
•Do you feel comfortable being your most genuine, authentic self around this person?
•Do they generally bring out the best in you?
•Do you trust them with the information you share with them?
•Do you feel respected and embraced for who you are?
•Can you confidently seek their assistance?
On the other hand, these signs could indicate that someone is not necessarily a good friend:
•Betrayal: The person betrays your confidences or spreads gossip about you behind your back.
•Jealousy: The person competes with you and feels jealous or threatened by your success.
•Constant criticism: They constantly criticize you, belittle your achievements, or make hurtful remarks, eroding your self-esteem and self-worth.
•Self-centeredness: They are self-centered and tend to consistently put their needs and interests ahead of yours. They are dismissive of your feelings, problems, or accomplishments and only focus on their own.
•One-sidedness: They never initiate contact, plan get-togethers, or reach out. You're the one making all the effort to maintain the friendship.
Sometimes, we refer to people as our friends because we have a shared history with them, even if the dynamic has changed over time.
There are many factors that go into whether or not someone is still a good friend but most of it drills down to how you feel in the relationship over time, says Melewski. He recommends asking yourself:
•Is the friendship feeling one-sided?
•Do you feel that you are no longer being heard, understood, or prioritized?
•Are your boundaries not being respected?
•Does your time spent together feel draining?
3 days ago · Learn the meaning of mutual friend, a phrase that describes someone who is a friend of both people involved in a situation or conversation. See how to use it in sentences from various sources and find related words and phrases.
Learn the meaning of mutual friend, a person who is the friend of two people who may or may not know each other. See how to use this phrase in sentences from various sources and find translations in different languages.
Jan 12, 2022 · Ask mutual friends or acquaintances to share the person's contact information, or — even better — to reintroduce the two of you with a text, email or in-person visit. Extend an invitation to coffee or lunch. To meet new people who might become your friends, you have to go to places where others are gathered.
Jul 26, 2020 · Having a mutual friend is a good way to rescue that relationship by deliberately interacting with a new friend in a lower-stakes context. Mutual friends also allows us to access additional opinions. While we can learn a lot about people just through conversation, hearing a mutual friend’s impression of the new person we’ve met is often a ...
