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Impulsive aggression

This type of aggression, also known as emotional or affective aggression, tends to stem directly from emotions you experience in the moment. It might instead feel uncontrollable or seem to come from nowhere. If you can’t access the person or thing upsetting you, then you might redirect this aggression toward something or someone you can access — including yourself. Examples of impulsive aggression: •A classmate grabs the exact book you needed for your research from the library cart. When they leave to use the restroom, you go over to grab the book — and hit the power button on their computer so that they lose their work. •The first time you meet, your date gives you an expensive watch. The gift makes you uncomfortable, so you hand it back with an apology, saying you can’t accept it. They react by throwing it to the ground and stomping on it.

Instrumental aggression

This type of aggression, also known as cognitive aggression, involves planning and intent, typically to achieve a specific desire or goal. All aggression involves a degree of intent to harm someone that doesn’t want to be harmed. But acts of instrumental aggression generally involve more calculation and purpose, without any loss of control. Examples of instrumental aggression: •You’ve just applied for a promotion at work when you overhear your supervisor encouraging another co-worker to apply for the role, saying they’d be a great fit. You want that position, so you tell a few people you’ve noticed that co-worker drinking in their office, hoping the rumor reaches your supervisor. •Your teenager asks if they can have $40 to buy a video game. You don’t have the money to spare, so you say no. They seem to accept your answer. But the next day, you’re preparing to go grocery shopping when you can’t find your wallet. Eventually, it turns up in the trash — with your cash gone and your cards chopped into bits.

As you may have noticed, aggression can take many forms.

Sometimes it’s more secretive and subtle than obvious and direct. So, you might not even realize certain behaviors count as aggression.

Aggression does often involve physical or verbal harm, but it can also involve coercion or manipulation:

•Physical aggression includes hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, or any acts that cause physical hurt. This doesn’t include accidental harm, like accidentally stepping on your dog’s tail in the dark or knocking your friend off the porch while roughhousing.

•Verbal aggression can include shouting, swearing, insults, and other cruel and unkind remarks intended to cause pain and distress. Hate speech also falls into this category.

•Relational aggression refers to actions aimed at damaging another person’s reputation or relationships. Examples include bullying, gossiping, and playing friends off each other.

While there’s a lot of overlap between aggression and abuse, these are two different concepts.

Abuse involves a desire to take and hold power and control. It also:

•occurs within some type of relationship — romantic, family, or professional

•happens in a pattern

•only shows up in certain contexts — abuse often doesn’t happen in public, for example

Learn the signs of emotional abuse.

Biological factors

Brain chemistry and other biological factors that might play a part in aggression include: •Irregular brain development. Experts have linked increased activity in the amygdala and decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex to aggression. Lesions in the brain, which can happen with neurodegenerative conditions, can also lead to aggressive behavior. •Genetics. Mutations of certain genes, including monoamine oxidase A, can also contribute. •Brain chemical and hormone imbalances. Unusually high or low levels of certain neurotransmitters, including serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-amino-butyric acid (GABA), may lead to aggressive behavior. Higher levels of testosterone can also lead to aggression in people of any gender. •Side effects of prescription medications and other substances. Medications and substances that cause changes in the brain can sometimes lead to aggressive behavior. A few examples include corticosteroids, alcohol, anabolic steroids, and phencyclidine (PCP). •Medical conditions. Aggressive behavior could happen as a result of certain health conditions that damage your brain, including stroke, dementia, and head injuries.

Psychological factors

Aggressive behavior can sometimes happen as a symptom of certain mental health conditions, including: •conduct disorder •intermittent explosive disorder •oppositional and defiant disorder (ODD) •attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) •post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) •autism •bipolar disorder •schizophrenia •depression •substance use disorders •chronic stress •certain personality disorders, including borderline, antisocial, and narcissistic personality disorders Of course, aggression doesn’t always mean you have a mental health condition, nor does having a mental health diagnosis automatically mean you’ll behave aggressively toward others.

Environmental factors

Circumstances and challenges in your everyday life and environment can also contribute to aggressive behavior. Aggression can happen as a natural response to stress, fear, or a sense of losing control. You might also respond with aggression when you feel frustrated, mistreated, or unheard — especially if you never learned how to manage your emotions effectively. You might also be more likely to behave aggressively if your upbringing exposed you to aggression and violence. This could happen if you: •had abusive parents and caregivers or siblings who bullied you •grew up in a neighborhood or community where violence and aggression happened frequently •experienced cruel or unfair treatment from teachers and classmates

It’s human to become frustrated and upset from time to time, and these emotions could easily lead you to respond with aggressive behavior in certain situations.

Working to develop and practice stronger emotion regulation skills can make a big difference, absolutely. But reaching out to a mental health professional is always a good option when aggressive behavior:

•happens frequently

•causes problems in your personal and professional relationships

•affects your daily life

•feels uncontrollable

In most cases, aggressive behavior happens for a reason. Identifying the main causes of aggression can make it easier to avoid potentially triggering situations, which can certainly make a difference.

Keep in mind, though, that you can’t avoid every possible trigger. That’s why taking steps to directly change your behavior may do more to help prevent aggression in the future. A therapist can teach strategies to better manage your emotions and maintain control, which can lead to more helpful and productive communication.