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Chuck Noblet : Go tell the grief counselor. She's supposed to care. Chuck Noblet : [Repeated Line; said before he cries] Everybody! Eyes to the back of the room! Chuck Noblet : Well, to expand the number of students involved in the science fair, I'm gonna weed out the best and the brightest to be the team to make just ONE project that will make ...
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Old Habits, New Beginnings
1. Jerri:Hello. I'm Jerri Blank, and I'm a forty-six year-old high school freshman. For thirty-two years I was a teenage runaway. I was a boozer, a user and a loser. My friends were dealers, cons and eighteen-karat pimps. But now, I'm out of jail, picking up my life exactly where I left off. I'm back in high school, living at home and discovering all sorts of things about my body. I'm finding out that though the faces have changed, the hassles are just the same. 1. Poppy Downes:And meanwhile,...
A Burden's Burden
1. Jerri:But I've had plenty of babies! Just none I've carried to full term. 1. Geoffrey Jellineck:It doesn't matter when you get here - just what time. 1. Orlando Pinatubo:Mr. Jellineck! I can't form the pot! 2. Jellineck:Easy there. OK, look... Grasp the pot like you would a mischievous child's neck. Go on, dig your thumbs in there like you're gouging out the eyes of an enemy. 1. Jerri:Is that how they say 'hi' in Whoreville? 1. Jerri:Pee on me. 1. Jerri:It was a lot easier being a single m...
Dreams on the Rocks
1. Jerri: I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed... reallyhard. 1. [On Sara's alcoholism.] 2. Jerri:I'm dealing with this the same way I dealt with my own alcoholism and drug addiction: With lies and delusion. 1. [Jerri attempts to extinguish a fire with the contents of Sara's mug, but instead ends up fueling the flames.] 2. Jerri:What was in that?! 3. Sara:Breakfast! 4. Jerri:Well, what kind of breakfast was that? 5. Sara:A cup of rum cake... We ju...
Yes, You Can't
1. Dr. Williams:Let me welcome you to the kickoff of Flatpoint’s Career Week! I’m Dr. Rachel Williams, supermodel, and I’m here to talk to you about making your dreams a reality. When I was a student at Flatpoint, I was confused until a modeling agent told me what my dreams were. And so can you! Just ask yourself, what do you want to do? 1. Student 1:I want to be a fireman. 1. Student 2:I want to be an arsonist. 1. Student 3:I want to be a gangsta with a crew, and knee deep in bitches. 1. Jer...
Behind Blank Eyes
1. Derrick:Let's go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back. 1. Sara:This has nothing to do with you, Alan. We just need to talk about you someplace where you can't hear us. 1. [Principal Blackman leads the team in prayer before the big game.] 2. Blackman:Dear Lord, thank you for giving this game your undivided attention. We'll try to be brief so you can return your energies to the movement of the stars and the condemnation of the Jews. Please hand us an easy victory. I'm not saying t...
The Virgin Jerri
1. Blackman:You must be about as worn out as a hooker on VJ Day. 1. Jerri:Drake! Why did you spread those vicious lies? 2. Drake Rogers:'Cause you didn't spread those vicious thighs. 1. Tammi:I've got something that boys want and they can't have it. 2. Jerri:Really? How about girls? 3. Tammi:What? 4. Jerri:Nothing. Just testing the waters. 1. Jerri:The ways of love are a mystery to me. The feeling of man’s pelvis pounding against your haunches as you lie bent over a beer-soaked pool table gra...
Jerri's Burning Issue
1. Dr. Zorders:Jerri, I have some bad news. You have syphilis. 2. Jerri:No! 3. Dr. Zorders:Not only that, it appears your syphilis is infested with crabs that are carrying gonorrhea. Don't you use condoms? 4. Jerri:Look, doc, I go all natural. That's why my prices are so high. 5. Dr. Zorders:That's pretty irresponsible. But, thanks to Penicillin, there's no need to act responsible. Penicillin is nature's condom! 1. Dr. Zorders:Jerri, you're not hearing what I'm saying. 2. Jerri:Oh, that's oka...
Is Freedom Free?
1. Jellineck:We'll go on a hunger strike! 2. Jerri:Both of us? 3. Jellineck:Yeah! You won't eat and I won't feed you! 1. Minister Arsenew:[puzzling over Jerri's nude self-portrait] It looks like two longshoremen fighting over a squirrel.
Trail of Tears
1. Jerri:Orlando, you can't be a pilgrim. The pilgrims had snowy white skin to match their pure Christian souls. They didn't sacrifice coconuts to their monkey gods. 1. Jerri:I'm not adopted and I'm not an Indian. It's just a coincidence that I have a love of gambling and booze and a knack for catching syphilis.
Strangers With Candy quotes at the Internet Movie DatabaseStrangers With Candyat TV.comTony's Strangers With Candy Companion Site: cast and episode listsPeople also ask
Who is Chuck noble?
What did Geoffrey Jellineck say to Chuck Noblet?
What does Geoffrey Jellineck say when he leaves Noblet's classroom?
Chuck Noblet: Hey, this'll be fun. Let's have a debate. Jerri will defend the godless savages, and everyone else will attack Jerri. Jerri Blank: What? Chuck Noblet: Don't be afraid to get personal. The objective is to win, or, rather, to attack Jerri. Jerri Blank: I don't know anything about Indians because I'm *not* an Indian! Chuck Noblet:
Jul 21, 2006 · Strangers with Candy: Directed by Paul Dinello. With Amy Sedaris, Paul Sedaris, Chandra Wilson, Kristy Thomas. A prequel to the critically-acclaimed series featuring Jerri Blank, a 46-year-old ex-junkie ex-con who returns to high school in a bid to restart her life.
A great memorable quote from the Strangers with Candy movie on Quotes.net - Chuck Noblet: All right everybody, for tomorrow I want you to write a history poem on Hiroshima. But nothing too faggy. And remember, I need the permission slips for this week's trip to Good Time Island.Girl Student: Where's *your* permission slip?Chuck Noblet: SHUT ...
Jun 5, 2018 · Stephen Colbert (history teacher Chuck Noblet): I was living at the General Theological Seminary of the Episcopal Church in Chelsea. In the summertime, they didn't have students and you could rent ...
First appeared. Old Habits, New Beginnings. " No one makes friends with a failure. - Chuck Noblet to Jerri Blank [1] Charles "Chuck" Noblet is the bitter (usual) history teacher at Flatpoint High School and secret lover of Geoffrey Jellineck. [2]
