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Aug 18, 2020 · A man and his wife are having an argument. The wife yells, “Get out of the house, I hate you! I want a divorce, get out now!”. Then, as her husband is walking out the door, she screams, “I hope you die a slow and painful death!”. The husband stops and says, “Hang on a minute, now you want me to stay?”.
Aug 14, 2019 · Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. "No, the divorce was great," I said. "It was the marriage that sucked." Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener! When you're a monk, you're not allowed to have sex with anyone.
Feb 29, 2024 · Marriage is like a long plane ride. Divorce is when the turbulence becomes too much. Divorce is like a fire drill – it tests your emergency exit plan. Marriage is like a bad tattoo. Divorce is when you finally get it removed. Divorce: when ‘I do’ turns into ‘I’m done.’. Marriage is like a Rubik’s Cube.
Oct 7, 2019 · Keep these 17 funny sayings and quotes about divorce in your back pocket for whenever you need a good smile—and a laugh! 1. When you physically feel ill—don’t worry … you’re not alone! Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. -Mary Kay Blakely. 2. Be wary of lawyers ….
I’m only upset I’m not a widow. – Roseanne Barr. The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce. – John Kenneth Galbraith. Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly. – Dave Barry. Marriages don’t last.
Sep 25, 2023 · The judge couldn’t help but chuckle while signing the papers. 60+ priceless funny divorce quotes and witty and relatable quips capture the humorous side of navigating the turbulent waters of separation. Get ready to laugh out loud as we share the lighter moments of divorce in this compilation of laughable one-liners and anecdotes.
Sep 27, 2023 · Everyday Funny Divorce Quotes and One-Liners. In addition to famous movie stars, comedians, and authors, everyday people have also come up with plenty of witty one-liners and funny quotes about divorce: “I got divorced last year – I call it the happiest day of my wife’s life.”
