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Oct 21, 2021 · 100 Funny Quotes and Hilarious Sayings. By Lucie Turkel. Updated: Jul. 27, 2023. Your complete guide to funny quotes, hilarious sayings, and witty comebacks for every occasion. Funniest...
Mar 14, 2024 · Need a good laugh? Check out 300 funny quotes to make you laugh out loud and improve your day with a few chuckles along the way.
Nov 30, 2023 · These are the best funny quotes to make you laugh about life, aging, family, work, and even nature. Enjoy quips from comedy greats like Bob Hope, Robin Williams, and more.
- Funny Quotes About Life
- Funny Quotes For Friends
- Funny Quotes About Aging
- Funny Quotes About Marriage
- Short Funny Quotes
- Clever Quotes and Sayings
- Funny Quotes About Parenting
- Funny Quotes About Work
1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." ―Mindy Kaling 2. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos." —Stanley Hudson, The Office 3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." —W.C. Fields 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always ...
24. "Well, you know what they say: If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me." —Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias 25. "A woman is like a tea bag: You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." —Eleanor Roosevelt 26. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will ...
41. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." —Lucille Ball 42. "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face." —Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias 43. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police." —Joan ...
50. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." —Will Ferrell 51. "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." —Albert Einstein 52. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much...
59. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." —Oscar Wilde 60. "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." —Betty White 61. "If you can't be kind, at least be vague." —Judith Martin 62. "Anybody who tells you money can't buy happiness never had any." —Samuel L. Jackson 63. "Reality continues to r...
74. "Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would." —Neil Gaiman 75. "Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that." —Ellen ...
80. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." —Erma Bombeck 81. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." —Phyllis Diller 82. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." ...
88. "Everything I have I owe to this job... this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job." —Jim Halpert, The Office 89. "An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. An office is a place where dreams come true." —Michael Scott, The Office 90. "So this is my life — until I win the lottery." —Jim Halpert, The Office 91. "The best way ...
- “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later. " —Mitch Hedberg.
- “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove.
- “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls.
- “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman.
Aug 31, 2023 · 1. Funny Inspirational Quotes. Sometimes inspirational quotes can be a bit boring and don’t inspire much. These funny quote alternatives call for the humorous side of motivation while still giving you the spark to get some work done. Use these to inspire a friend and make them giggle, or print them out for your mood board.
Oct 6, 2022 · Access 100 of the funniest quotes TODAY! Discover great lines from Jim Carrey, Tina Fey, Bill Murray that will make you laugh out loud!
