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Dec 23, 2021 · From cute (and sometimes mischievous) jokes from the wonderful Betty White to light-hearted, positive, and funny lines about life from Stephen Hawking. There are plenty of fun quotes to discover.
- “I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.” C. Fields. Starting off is W.C. Fields, the legendary comedian, who delivered this wry observation, capturing the essence of his humor and wit.
- “He who can does—he, who cannot, teaches.” George Bernard Shaw. In his quote, George Bernard Shaw discusses the apparent distinctions between people with theoreticalknowledgeand those with actual talents and experience.
- “Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.” Jerry Seinfeld. Here, Jerry Seinfeld makes a droll observation about lipstick, cosmetics, and accepting oneself.
- “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” George Bernard Shaw. With this clever paradoxical quote, Shaw expresses his view on the nature of dancing.
Oct 21, 2021 · 100 Funny Quotes and Hilarious Sayings. By Lucie Turkel. Updated: Jul. 27, 2023. Your complete guide to funny quotes, hilarious sayings, and witty comebacks for every occasion. Funniest...
- Life and Success
- Lies and Self-Deprecation
- Insults
- Love and Attraction
- Insanity
- Aging, Happiness, and Health
- Politics
- Television
- Miscellaneous
Charles Schulz "My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" J. P. Getty “My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.” Reba McEntire "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone." James A. Garfield "Man cannot ...
Thomas Sowell "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." Oscar Wilde "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." Mel Brooks "I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know." S.E. Hinton "I lie to myself ...
Groucho Marx "I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." W. C. Fields "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday." George Bernard Shaw "He who can does—he who cannot, teaches."
Jay Leno [Putting his arms around British personality and food journalist Nigella Lawson] "My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's OK!" Jerry Seinfeld "Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." George Bernard Shaw "Dancing is a perpendicular expre...
Cary Grant "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." Oscar Levant "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
Luis Bunuel "Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese." George Burns "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." Mark Twain "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
Mark Twain "Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Sen. Bob Dole "Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time."
Groucho Marx "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
Jim Carrey "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." Henny Youngman "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late." Steve Martin "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." Josh Billings "Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got." Anthony B...
Mar 12, 2024 · Funny quotes from famous people. 1. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — Kurt Vonnegut (March 2015) 2. “Always forgive...
These 101 funny quotes from comedians, movies, authors, and TV look at the hilarious side of life. Enjoy these funny quotes, a laugh and share with a friend.
Aug 6, 2020 · 1 / 100. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. The funniest quotes of all time aren’t always intentional… Case in point: “I thought Europe was a country.” —Kellie Pickler, country music singer. 2 / 100. Photo: RD.com. Seinfeld on fear. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two.
