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Apr 13, 2016 · 12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. 13. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.14. When nothing is going right, go left.15. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. 16. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.17.
- Short Funny Quotes and Humorous Lines
- A Few Quick Thoughts on Fun and Laughing…
- Further Readings
Go to table of contents One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts, and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, and backgrounds.
A good laugh… Isn’t it great? Don’t you have the impression that time stops and you’re 100% in the moment, appreciating it? With the seriousness and busyness of modern life, it’s too easy to forget the importance and benefits of relaxing, chilling, and having fun with friends. Most of us, myself included, are always living the next-thing-next-thing...
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- “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later. " —Mitch Hedberg.
- “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove.
- “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls.
- “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman.
Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about enemies. 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies ...
Jan 12, 2023 · 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." —Joan Rivers. 5. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never ...
Aug 31, 2023 · 4. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers. 5. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” —Dalai Lama. 2. Funny Quotes About Life. Life throws a lot at you.
Paula Poundstone. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”. Thomas Szasz. “A word to the wise is infuriating.”. Hunter S. Thompson. “If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.”. Rob Corddry. Hopefully, you’ve found a little fun and laughter in the above list of funny quotes.
