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  1. Silicon Valley (TV series) - Wikiquote

    en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Silicon_Valley_(TV_series)
    • Season 1
    • Season 2
    • Season 3
    • Season 4
    • Season 5
    • Season 6
    • Cast

    Minimum Viable Product

    [first spoken lines] 1. Kid Rock: (yelling)Whoo! Somebody make some fucking noise in here! (quieter) fuck these people 1. Dinesh: What the hell are you eating? 2. Gilfoyle: Liquid Shrimp. It's 200 dollars a quart. Wylie Dufresne made it. 3. Dinesh: How does it taste? 4. Gilfoyle: Like how I would imagine cum tastes. 1. Erlich: You guys taking it all in? Because this is what it looks like when Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars. 1. Javeed - Goolybib founder: Hello! Whoo!...

    The Cap Table

    1. Gilfoyle: Who was this woman that you shook hands with for the first time? 2. Dinesh: The postman lady. 3. Gilfoyle: What? A woman that was a man? 4. Dinesh: Not a post-man lady. A lady who was a post... 5. Gilfoyle: Let me ask you another question. Who was the second woman you shook hands with? 1. Erlich: Richard, if you're not an asshole, it creates this kind of asshole vacuum, and that void is filled by other assholes, like Jared. I mean, you almost gave him shares. You need to complete...

    Articles of Incorporation

    1. Richard: Since when do we have an intern program? 2. Erlich: We don’t. And when Keith finds that out, it’s going to be a very valuable business lesson for him. 1. Gavin: If we can make your audio and video files smaller, we can make cancer smaller. And hunger. And... AIDS. 1. Dinesh: It looks like a guy sucking a dick, with another dick tucked behind his ear for later. Like a snack dick. 1. Jared: I checked with the Secretary of State website, and there's already a "Pied Piper" operating i...

    Sand Hill Shuffle

    1. Gavin: I don't know about you people, but I don't want to live in a world where someone else makes the world a better place better than we do. 1. Laurie:Peter Gregory is dead. 2. Monica:Yes, I know. 3. Laurie: On a personal note, his death is very sad. But on a professional level, it's untenable. I've been reviewing his files. He was pursuing a number of extremely dubious positions. Are you aware that we own a $30 million ostrich farm in Morocco, or that we are the majority stakeholders in...

    Runaway Devaluation

    1. Ron LaFlamme:Did you work on Pied Piper on Hooli time or use Hooli equipment to develop it in any way - at any time, Richie? 2. Richard:No, and no. 3. Ron LaFlamme:Great. And by the way, always tell me that and tell yourself that. Because if you believe it, a jury will, too. 4. Richard:Oh, I... I do believe it. It's the truth. 5. Ron LaFlamme:Great. That one was even better than the other one. I love it. Always say it exactly like that. 1. Gilfoyle: Wait. Did you just say you were the cool...

    Bad Money

    1. Erlich:Richard, I'm an independent businessman. Emphasis on "independent." And "business." And "man," come to think of it. 1. Dinesh:Sorry, I'm not going to go work for Hooli. 2. Gilfoyle:Same for me, except for the part about being sorry. 1. Richard: Once we get a few customers and start a subscription-revenue model. 2. Russ: What? Revenue? No, no, no, no, no. No. If you show revenue, people will ask "How much?" And it will never be enough, but if you have no revenue, you can say you're p...

    Founder Friendly

    1. Doctor: You've got a glow about you. If it were medically possible, I'd say you were pregnant! 1. Richard: They can't really do this, can they? 2. Ron: I think they just did. You remember that shit deal you brought me from Hanneman, and I said, "Hey, Richie, this is a shit deal," but you took it anyway because you wanted to do something crazy for once in your life? 3. Richard:Yes, I remember. 4. Ron: Well, you basically just loaded a gun and handed it to Hanneman, and Hanneman sold that gu...

    Two in the Box

    1. Jack Barker:Let me tell you a story. In 1999, Google was a little startup, just like we are. And when they started bringing in chefs and masseuses, we thought, "They're nuts!" But they were attracting the best possible people, and they were able to create the best product, and now they're worth over $400 billion. And do you know the name of that company? 2. Richard:Google, right? You said it at the beginning of the story. 3. Jack Barker: [beat]You're right. I did that wrong. 1. Dinesh: Thi...

    Meinertzhagen's Haversack

    1. Server Farm Guy:This is where we would install a Pied Piper engineer. 2. Richard:Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here? 3. Server Farm Guy:Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance... at least for the first year. 4. Gilfoyle:So, one of us would have to be down here for a year? 5. Dinesh:Even at night? 6. Server Farm Guy:There's really no difference between day and night down here, so it makes things easy. 7. Richard:Okay, well, we should probably get goi...

    Success Failure

    1. Russ: It's like this: you're trying to date a woman, but deep down in your heart you know you're gay. 2. Richard: Uh... 3. Russ: But deep in your soul you know you would be rather plowing a dude! 4. Richard: I don't...OK, what dude? 5. Russ: It could be any dude as long you really want to fuck him. It could be a twink, a bear, an otter, a circuit queen, a chub, a pup, a giftster, a daddy chaser, a leather man, a lady boy, a Donald Duck. 6. [Richard stares, confused] 7. Russ: A Donald Duck...

    Terms of Service

    1. Erlich: Oh, my God. It's a VR play. That's the frothiest space in the Valley right now. Nobody understands it, but everybody wants in. Any idiot can walk into a fucking room, utter the letters "V" and "R," and VCs will hurl bricks of cash at him. Then by the time they find out that it's vaporware, it's too late. I have got to get in on this. 1. Jared: Well, when you lied to me about adding terms of service, it could be argued you violated your fiduciary duty to the company, rendering you p...

    Intellectual Property

    1. Jian Yang: Question for you. What's better than octopus recipe? Answer for you. Eight recipes for octopus. My grandmother gave me a family recipe before she died in a horrible way. 1. Dinesh: People don't have people killed in the Valley, not even Gavin Belson, okay? Right, Jared? 2. Jared: I... I once saw him throw a sloth down a flight of stairs after a presentation, and he said it was an accident, but he had this look in his eyes... 1. Stanford Interviewer:Five years at ASU, then you dr...

    Grow Fast or Die Slow

    1. Monica:How are you gonna spin this to Laurie? 2. Richard:Well, you said you'd protect me from Laurie. I mean, she's your partner, are you afraid of her? 3. Monica:Of course I'm afraid of her! The woman got pregnant just to prove to me that she could do it without missing a day of work.

    Reorientation

    1. Jared:Richard, this is all an idea. And people don't wanna follow an idea, they wanna follow a leader. Look at the last guy to create a new Internet. Al Gore. His ideas were excellent, but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner, so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy and now he makes apocalypse porn. 1. Dinesh:You waived our no dog policy? I had Jared put that in there for a reason, Richard! In Pakistan, dogs are not pets, okay? They're vicious beasts and they chase you down the...

    Chief Operating Officer

    1. Tom:Over the last 80 years, we've built a real trust with our customers... 2. Gavin:Alright! Great tour! 3. Viola:Oh, there's a lot more to see. 4. Gavin:Ugh. Why? Look, I came here to offer you a partnership to cut down your server bills. 5. Tom:Oh! Well, our server costs were far higher than we anticipated. As we said, we're not well versed in... 6. Gavin:The 20th century? Yeah, you mentioned that. Do you want to save a fortune or not? 7. Viola:Well... yes. 8. Gavin:In exchange, I need y...

    Artificial Lack of Intelligence

    1. Gilfoyle: [talking about Richard as he fumbles during the committe hearing broadcast]He looks like a child in a custody hearing. 2. Dinesh:But, like, you don't feel sorry for him. You just want him to go away and not have any parents at all. 1. Dinesh:Um, Gilfoyle? What the fuck is going on? 'Cause I just texted you, and you were-- Um, we've been texting back and forth all day. Was that not you? 2. Gilfoyle:Complicated question. Is your shadow you? 3. Dinesh:Was that a bot? 4. Gilfoyle:Yes...

  2. For instance, if a food product has less than 3 percent raw meat or less than 2 percent cooked meat in it, it falls under the purview of the FDA. Another murky example is that egg processing plants are under the jurisdiction of the FDA, but egg product processing plants (for items like liquid egg whites) are under the jurisdiction of the USDA.

  3. Do It Again: The Iterative Design thinking Process

    zeuxinnovation.com/articles/iteration-design...

    The entire Silicon valley start-up ecosystem thrives in the belief that one should fail fast and fail forward. They come out with a MVP (minimum viable product) as fast as they can. Then they continue refining the product based on usage and feedback.

  4. Yarn | Find video clips by quote | GetYarn.io

    getyarn.io/yarn-find?text=:"Silicon Valley (2014...

    Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot.

  5. 'It's a colony': Why Texas won't take Silicon Valley's crown ...

    www.msn.com/en-gb/money/technology/it-s-a-colony...

    The world’s second largest software company, founded in Silicon Valley in the late 1970s, had already transitioned parts of its 135,000-member workforce to Austin over the last two years as ...

  6. Uncanny Valley | Issue 25 | n+1

    nplusonemag.com/.../on-the-fringe/uncanny-valley

    It’s fast, dangerously so. Mostly I put it under my standing desk and then get onboard, rocking back and forth as I work. T he billboards along the stretch of the 101 that sweeps Silicon Valley have been punchy and declarative lately, advertising apps and other software products that transcend all context and grammatical structure.

  7. Lobsters never die, they only shed their shells and keep ...

    www.quora.com/Lobsters-never-die-they-only-shed...

    The answer from Franklin Veaux is really interesting. I knew something about the difficulties that lobsters have in molting their shells (exoskeletons), but it had not occurred to me that periodic molting was necessary not only for occasional grow...

  8. The Uninhabitable Earth Quotes by David Wallace-Wells

    www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/64830288

    And the effect would be fast: after a few hours, a human body would be cooked to death from both inside and out. At eleven or twelve degrees Celsius of warming, more than half the world’s population, as distributed today, would die of direct heat.

  9. If this holds true, historians will look back on our era as an extraordinary moment. They will chronicle the 40-year period from 1980 to 2020 as the key years of a remarkable transformation.

  10. Reboot or Die Trying | Outside Online

    www.outsideonline.com/1926796/reboot-or-die-trying

    Sep 02, 2014 · But I did have some hard-and-fast rules: no work, work-related e-mail, or work-related reading. No daily news cycles or social media. Most of all, I would not blog, tweet, share, pin, like, star ...

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