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    • We're the only species that listens to Michael Bublé when we have sex. That's gotta be wrong. Chris D'Elia. Sex, Species.
    • My biggest pet peeve is when a girl says, "I'm not into drama." Why are you even mentioning it?! That's dramatic in itself! Chris D'Elia. Girl, Drama, Pet.
    • A girl who pays attention is very cool. It's really hard to pay attention to someone. I understand. I get it. I get bored a lot when I'm talking to people, but I try.
    • No perfume. Because I want to know how you smell - right off the bat. Don't mask it up. I need to know how you smell because I need to know how we connect.
    • "My biggest pet peeve is when a girl says, "I'm not into drama." Why are you even mentioning it?! That's dramatic in itself!"
    • "Uh escuze me, I have a quhestion fer yhu"
    • "Nothing matters to a drunk girl at all. Nothing you'd be like, "yo there's a crocodile right next to you. 'Uh, excuse me, I have a question for you. Is it your crocodile?"
    • "The shoes on my feet, I bought em!"
  1. Chris D’elia Quotes : If you are interested in comedy then you must’ve heard about the ever famous American comedian Chris D’Elia, a stand-up comedian and actor. Now… In this article, we bring you the best of Chris D’elia quotes today! So, get ready as we unveil some iconic statements from the famous Chris D’elia. Let’s get started…

    • Once I started doing stand-up, everything fell into place. That was when I started acting more; I felt like I'd found my place in the business.
    • Being on 'Whitney' is a job, but stand-up is my life. I could never stop. There's an art to it. I love having strangers laugh with me, so as long as I can continue doing that, I'll be happy.
    • Whitney Cummings is one of the hardest working people I know, and she's very motivated.
    • I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are writers and they get onstage to get jokes out, and that's definitely not what I do.
  2. Apr 25, 2020 · Powerhouse stand-up Chris D'Elia takes New Orleans by storm in his very first one-hour stand-up special. British dudes, drunk girls and bears on romantic dates at Applebee's. Hey, why is it that we are the only species that makes love, anyway? Chris D'Elia explains the hilarious truth and more in this dynamic new special.

  3. The Chris D'Elia Newsletter. Sign up for occasional news, dates, announcements, sales, etc. ... I can’t tell you how much I love this kid!!!! Hahahahaha so cute!!!!

  4. Stand-up comedian Chris D'Elia covers everything from how to improve the NFL to why dating is evil and that babies should grow up before they're born. Watch trailers & learn more.

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