Natural Born Killers
1994
Search results
Jan 22, 2021 · Enjoy the wit and wisdom of Steven Wright, a comedian known for his deadpan delivery of ironic and nonsensical jokes. Find out his background, achievements, and some of his best one-liners and motivational quotes.
- “I’m going to court next week. I’ve been selected for jury duty. It’s kind of an insane case. 6,000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant …I don’t think they did it.
- “I tried to hang myself with bungee cord… Kept almost dying.” Advertisement.
- “I was walking down the street, there was a sign stapled to a telephone pole that said: Reward, lost $50. If found, just keep it”
- “So I was laying in bed with my girlfriend reading the second hand diary that I bought… ‘I don't remember this.’ She said, “Let me ask you a question: If you could know how and when you were gonna die would you want to know?’
Discover Steven Wright famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by Steven Wright and quotations about comedy and cars. "Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an..."
Jan 9, 2023 · Here is a short selection (only 107!) of the best Steven Wright quotes. Enjoy! 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. A cop stopped me for speeding.
- “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.” ― Steven Wright.
- “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.” ― Steven Wright.
- “I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” ― Steven Wright.
- “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” ― Steven Wright.
Steven Wright Quotes - BrainyQuote. American - Comedian Born: December 6, 1955. What's another word for Thesaurus? Steven Wright. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Steven Wright. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. Steven Wright.
Nov 3, 2023 · Enjoy the best one-liners and witty jokes by Steven Wright, one of the greatest stand-up comics of his time. His humor deals with the surreal and the absurd, with jokes that leave you wondering and laughing.
