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The history of Dapilipins began when Ferdinand Magellan, who happened to stop by on his world tour, lost in an all-out Kung-Fu battle royale tournament with the natives. Dr. Phil, the then-ruler of Spain, would have none of this shit happening in his soon-to-be backyard, so he personally sailed his decrepit ass across the Pacific Ocean, liberally c...
At the time of this writing, the entire Dapilipin archipelago is in the midst of being swallowed up by the love of God, because its population does nothing but complain their asses off when certain politicians don't do their jobs. George W. Bush is said to have launched an atomic bomb into Antarctica in an attempt to raise water levels around the c...
Whenever the EDSA volcano erupts, the event is pretentiously called 'people power'. There have been two major eruptions, and countless minor eruptions since 1986. Pyroclastic flows, lava, and of course people that flow from these eruptions inexorably find their way to the Presidential Palace, where water cannons and armed military guards hold them ...
Dapilipin government (or Respublica Nang Filifinas) can be defined as the most deviant of all government systems in the world; getting yourself involved in the government means that you need money, guns, tanks, and a bad-ass militia.
A vast majority of Dapilipinos speak Taglish; a horrific blend of English, and whatever voodoo language emerged over there, which is something like an obscure form of Esperanto, only more confusing. Oddly enough, despite the difficulty they have in pronouncing English syllables, Dapilipinos insist on anglicising Spanish words. Hence, names such as ...
Dapilipins' main exports are basically anything exported by Korea, China, or any other Asian country. Dapilipins also export tapes of local disasters other collective woes (mostly related to poverty) to CNN, but CNN usually only gives a shit for a day. To help combat the nation's widespread poverty, Dapilipins has implemented its two most powerful ...
Asian countries. The Philippines is a fictional nation found on the other side of the world. It's the one that isn't China, Japan or Korea. It is also the nation that is both below Taiwan and the average literacy level of an average third-world country.
The Rastadon ( Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go ...
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