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  1. Jul 25, 2022 · 26.) “To be fair, in most divorces the house is split evenly. The women get the inside, the men get the outside.”. – Bruce ‏Force. 27.) “You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”. – Zsa Zsa Gabor. 28.) “You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children.

  2. Johnny Carson. “Divorces are made in heaven.”. Oscar Wilde. “A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.”. Margaret Atwood. “A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.”.

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  4. Feb 29, 2024 · Marriage is like a long plane ride. Divorce is when the turbulence becomes too much. Divorce is like a fire drill – it tests your emergency exit plan. Marriage is like a bad tattoo. Divorce is when you finally get it removed. Divorce: when ‘I do’ turns into ‘I’m done.’. Marriage is like a Rubik’s Cube.

  5. Nov 16, 2012 · Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended. ~ Lenny Clarke. Divorces are made in heaven. ~ Oscar Wilde. Half of all ...

  6. I’m only upset I’m not a widow. – Roseanne Barr. The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce. – John Kenneth Galbraith. Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly. – Dave Barry. Marriages don’t last.

  7. Funny Divorce Quotes. A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you. Margaret Atwood. Broken Heart, Lost Love, Divorce. 90 Copy quote. Show source. In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. Robert Anderson.

  8. Oct 7, 2019 · Keep these 17 funny sayings and quotes about divorce in your back pocket for whenever you need a good smile—and a laugh! 1. When you physically feel ill—don’t worry … you’re not alone! Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. -Mary Kay Blakely. 2. Be wary of lawyers ….

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