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Enjoy the wit and wisdom of the former British prime minister and Nobel laureate. From his famous one-liners to his humorous anecdotes, here are 27 of the funniest quotes by Winston Churchill.
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- Churchill on Attitude
- Churchill on Politics and Government
- Insults
- On Americans
- On Speaking
- On The Truth
- Churchill's Definitions
- Advice
- On War
- With Fondness
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"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it." "I am easily satisfied with the very best." "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm." "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." "Attitude is a little thing th...
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." "Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been t...
"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk,' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly." Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wifeI'd put poison in your coffee." Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."
"We can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after they have exhausted all the other possibilities."
"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip." "There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you." "Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting." "A joke is a very serious t...
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened." "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last."
"In those days he was wiser than he is now—he used frequently to take my advice." "When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone."
"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, then asks you not to kill him." "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result." "If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons." "Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could m...
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
Enjoy the wit and wisdom of the British prime minister who led his country during World War II. Find humorous quotes on attitude, politics, history, speaking, and more.
- Daniel Kurtzman
Feb 20, 2018 · Winston Churchill jokes and put-downs: The 8 funniest quotes and insults of Britain's World War Two leader. Funny: Churchill always seemed to have an answer for everything. By. Alex...
Jan 26, 2015 · Learn how the WWII prime minister used his sharp tongue and wit to make jokes, insults and retorts on various topics, from poison and coffee to meeting his maker. See examples of his famous one-liners and how they reflect his personality and legacy.
Sep 8, 2023 · Few historical figures can rival Winston Churchill when it comes to a sense of humour. His wit is literally legendary. Here are 22 of the best examples of that wit in action.
Mar 24, 2023 · Learn from the wisdom and wit of Winston Churchill, the former British Prime Minister who led his country during the Second World War. Find quotes on success, progress, integrity, courage, perseverance, and more.
