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- Season 3 overviewSep 19, 2005-May 22, 200624 episodesSeason 3 episodes1. Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts Sep 19, 2005
- After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.
- 2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover Sep 26, 2005
- Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.
- 3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Oct 3, 2005
- Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.
- 4. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs Oct 10, 2005
- Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
- 5. We Called It Mr. Pinky Oct 17, 2005
- Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.
- 6. Hi, Mr. Horned One Oct 24, 2005
- Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
- 7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop Nov 7, 2005
- Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
- 8. That Voodoo That I Do Do Nov 14, 2005
- Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
- 9. Madame and Her Special Friend Nov 21, 2005
- A wealthy, elderly woman (Cloris Leachman) sets her sights on Alan.
- 10. Something Salted and Twisted Nov 28, 2005
- Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.
- 11. Santa's Village of the Damned Dec 19, 2005
- Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.
- 12. That Special Tug Jan 9, 2006
- Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
- 13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium Jan 23, 2006
- Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
- 14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Feb 6, 2006
- Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship.
- 15. My Tongue Is Meat Feb 27, 2006
- Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
- 16. Ergo, the Booty Call Mar 6, 2006
- Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
- 17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauser Mar 13, 2006
- Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.
- 18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler Mar 20, 2006
- Paying his young girlfriend's bills financially straps Alan.
- 19. Golly Moses, She's a Muffin Apr 10, 2006
- Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house.
- 20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Apr 24, 2006
- Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.
- 21. And the Plot Moistens May 1, 2006
- Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.
- 22. Just Once With Aunt Sophie May 8, 2006
- Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
- 23. Arguments for the Quickie May 15, 2006
- Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
- 24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite May 22, 2006
- Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
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