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Feb 26, 2021 · 2. The Royal Break-up. “Every couple has a weakness. Kate and Will, I could break them up with one email. Oh look at that, look at the royal baby now, living with slutty Aunt Pippa ...
- "Because People Are The worst."
- "Sometimes I Think I'm Just A Riddle That I Can't Even solve."
- "I Brake For Birds. I Rock A Lot of Polka Dots..."
- "You Gave Me Cookie, I Got You Cookie, man."
- "Nick, It's Not That Hard, Man. Just Sit Down and Write. You Ain't Hemingway."
- "Pine Has No Place in This loft. It's The Wood of Poor People and Outhouses."
- "It's Perfectly Fine to Watch TV All day."
- "You Know What We Should Watch? Have You Guys Ever Seen Fame?"
- "I’d Give You A Hug, But My Shirt Smells Pretty Weird today."
- "If I Were Off My Rocker, Would I Take A Weekly Selfie with My Cat?"
Nick In Season 1, Episode 12 - “The Landlord”
Jess (Zooey Deschanel) asks why the always grumpy Nick (Jake Johnson) is always looking for the worst in people, and Nick simply answers with this line that's perfect for any day when people really are just the worst. It's a perfect line for Nick's character too, and the show cuts away to terrible, but hilarious, things people have done to Nick in his past, (although good things happen to New Girl's Nicktoo). It makes sense that he hates people so much because they typically seem to hate him...
Schmidt In Season 2, Episode 3 - “Fluffer”
Schmidt (Max Greenfield) is a pretty eccentric and picky character on the show that needs to have things go just his way or else he'll start yelling, which always ends up being pretty hilarious, as well. Schmidt does have mini existential crises at times, which is pretty relatable for anyone around his age that isn't exactly sure who they are or what they want in life, and this quote is a good representation of his moments where he wonders about who he is. Schmidt has many great New Girl quot...
Jess In Season 1, Episode 11 - “Jess And Julia”
Nick's lawyer girlfriend, Julia (Lizzy Caplan), helps Jess when she has to appear in court, and it's clear that the two don't understand each other. Jess holds it in as long as she can, but finally tells Julia how she feels. Jess defends her personality, stating several things about herself that Julia probably wouldn't like or understand, like how she brakes for birds or rocks polka dots, and she stands up for herself by saying that even though all of these things are true, it doesn't mean sh...
Nick In Season 2, Episode 5 - “Models”
Nick and Schmidt are the best of friendsbut Schmidt sometimes expects more from Nick, and Nick has a hard time picking up on the subtle hints until Schmidt has to yell at him to tell him what he wants. Schmidt gives Nick a fancy cookie and Nick doesn't really thank him for it, which causes a fight between the two. Nick brings Schmidt a black and white cookie he cut himself to look like the Star of David and has a difficult time apologizing with the cookie and goes into a few hilarious minutes...
Winston In Season 2, Episode 9 - “Eggs”
New Girl sets up struggling writer Nickin season 2, though without him ever really trying to write much. When he finally does try to write, he gets caught up in the beginning and Winston (Lamorne Morris) finally delivers this line telling him to just sit down and write. Even though the moment is a bit of a burn and still pretty hilarious, it's actually some good advice and does help Nick to get out of his head and just start writing a first draft. Nick eventually goes on to publish a detectiv...
Schmidt In Season 1, Episode 16 - “Control”
Schmidt is often the most mature New Girl roommate. He is a man on a mission to succeed in life, whether that means doing well at work, finding his dream girl to marry, or looking good. That's why this is such a great New Girl quote. The fact that he's talking about the wood in the apartment and even has an opinion on the kind of wood that he would prefer is pure Schmidt, and really couldn't describe his character more perfectly. Even though Schmidt fancies himself an attractive bachelor, he'...
Nick In Season 2, Episode 4 - “Neighbors”
Can't argue with Nick here: this is definitely true for the gang and it would be easy to picture any of the New Girl characters saying this particular quote — especially Jess — when they were going through a breakup or a bad time. Nick's New Girl quotesare gems like this all the time, though, and he's known as someone who isn't super motivated and doesn't do a lot all day. That's why he and Jess are such a perfect couple. They work well since they're both weird and quirky, but she does have a...
Jess In Season 1, Episode 4 - “Naked”
This is a classic Jessica Day quotesince she's always going off on a random tangent about a movie or something that she loves. She's girly, full of quirks, and can sometimes seem to be off in her own universe (and that's another reason why she's perfect for the more pessimistic Nick). The fact that Jess says this to her roommates is even more hilarious since, of course, they're not going to be up for watching Fame. They humor her in the pilot, allowing repeated watching of Dirty Dancing, but...
Nick In Season 5, Episode 13 - “Sam, Again”
Nick just can't help but say exactly what's on his mind, even when it's gross or weird or not really something that should be said out loud. It's good that he doesn't have a filter, though, because he offers the audience things like this great New Girlquote. Nick is pretty much the opposite of Schmidtwhen it comes to personal hygiene and dressing well. He would rather not do laundry and would prefer to just wear the same shirt over and over again. His honesty in moments like this brings levit...
Winston In Season 4, Episode 22 - “Clean Break”
Winston is quite possibly the strangest character on New Girl,which is saying a lot since everyone considers one another pretty weird. He just has something special about him that makes him arguably the funniest character, and the quirkiest. Winston views the world in his own way, and that makes him great. This particular quote is one of the best on New Girlsince he honestly believes that this is a completely normal thing to say. Winston and his cat are the best of pals, and many of his story...
- Professional Gold Digger. “Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I’d be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world!” — Jess, Season 2, “Quick Hardening Caulk”
- The Royal Break-up. “Every couple has a weakness. Kate and Will, I could break them up with one email. Oh look at that, look at the royal baby now, living with slutty Aunt Pippa.”
- Protect the Shoes. “Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can’t cure damaged suede.” — Schmidt, Season 1, “Control” The cost-benefit analysis technique has never been stronger.
- Tomatoes > Women. “So, I’ve decided to give up on women and put all that energy into tomatoes.” — Nick, Season 1, “Tomatoes” Nick, ever the pessimist, quits a life of dating and relationships to pursue another passion: gardening.
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7. “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.”. – Jessica. 8. “I hope you like feminist rants because that’s kind of my thing.”. – Jessica. 9. “You’re a plant killer, and I write songs. We’re weirdos, but that’s who we are.”.
- "Life Sucks! And Then It Gets Better, And Then It Sucks Again." - Nick. In an emotional scene when Jess is crying to Nick, she says that it all sucks. Nick agrees with her statement, but then he gives a little hope.
- "You Know What Happens To People Who Keep It All Inside. They Get Old And They Get Sad And They Get Weird." - Jess. Jess offers some good advice when her friends only want to keep everything in and admit that they're fine.
- "You Got Hurt. That Doesn't Mean You Stop Trying." - Cece. Cece walks into the room to see Jess sprawled out on the floor. She is preparing for her date, but she tells Cece that it might be horrible and she'll have nothing to talk about.
- "When You Care About Somebody You Do What's Best For Them, Even If It Sucks For You." - Schmidt. After a tough time trying to come to terms with Cece and her career, Schmidt decides to walk away from her and call it quits.
Mar 9, 2021 · Best Of Schmidt Quotes Check out the best Schmidt from 'New Girl' quotes here. 51. “There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…” - Schmidt, Season Two, Episode 19. 52. "Damp towel. Damp! It’s like a really big wet nap.
Aug 3, 2021 · I will take you to the corner of Fairfax and La Brea.”. “Sepulveda! La Cienega, bitches. El Matador beach.”. This article was originally published on Feb. 12, 2020. 'New Girl' was one of the most popular comedies of the 2010s. Check out these funny 'New Girl' quotes to share with your own roommates.
