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  1. Oct 1, 2012 · Dark Castle (Sega Genesis) - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) - YouTube. Cinemassacre. 3.8M subscribers. Subscribed. 76K. 6.9M views 11 years ago #AngryVideogameNerd #DarkCastle. Today the...

    • 12 min
    • 7M
    • Cinemassacre
    • Overview
    • Errors
    • Trivia

    The Nerd: This is gonna get scary. OK, I play a lot of 8-bit shit. You know, NES. Why is there so many crappy games on NES? I mean, y'know, they have lots of great classic games as well, but its precious library was being used by all these half-ass game companies as a dumping ground for all their foul shit!

    The Nerd: So, I'm gonna take a break from all that and just try out a Sega Genesis game. Yeah, movin' up to 16 bits. That was a big deal at the time. You remember the commercials, right? "Genesis does what Ninten-don't." Well, I have this game here called Dark Castle; let’s see how much this one

    The Nerd: (sarcastically) Oooh... scary. There's some good 16-bit graphics. Even that vulture looks fuckin' depressed. What the hell is this? A ghost giving a castle a blowjob?

    The Nerd: The game starts up with no storyline. No explanation, no nothing. You're just some guy (Duncan) standing in a castle who looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, or perhaps Peter Pan with a mullet. You have multiple doors to choose from. Two of them have question marks, but it doesn’t make any sense because every room is just as much a question as the others. This one says "BK" on it. What the fuck does "BK" stand for? Burger King? I hope! If I go in there and I'm gettin' served hamburgers, that would be the tits.

    The Nerd: Once inside, it becomes a platform game, and it looks like shit. Come on, fuckin' bats? How cliché. (sarcastically) Man, that dragon sure looks scary. I'm gonna have nightmares over that. Could they have made the dragon look any more cute?!

    The Nerd: Oh, that's neat, graffiti on the walls. "Gamers rule", and-- (stutters) Wh-Wh-What?! (The Nerd stares in shock) "Saddam was here"? As in... Saddam Hussein? What was he doin' goin' around writing on castle walls?! And "Gamers rule"? (Shows the two graffiti together.) That's the same handwriting. Hm... so, Saddam was a really hardcore gamer? (Exhales deeply) Wow.

    •The Nerd says that to keep ducking, one has to hold Up + B when in fact it only needs holding B.

    •He also incorrectly refers to the flying enemies that don't squeal as bats, when they're actually vultures.

    •The Nerd never refers to Duncan, the protagonist of the game, by his name.

    •Dark Castle was originally made in 1986 for the Apple Macintosh and was highly praised, there could be a revisit if someone donated copies of Dark Castle and/or Beyond Dark Castle for either the Commodore Amiga or the Commodore 64.

    •These are the only two computer systems James has that have ports of Dark Castle & Beyond, the Amiga is an A600.

    •This is the second and last episode to be produced in 720p, as the series would switch to 1080p in the next episode.

  2. Oct 6, 2011 · It stars a Peter Pan-like character that appears in the entrance of a castle without any prior explanation or storyline. There are multiple doors to enter, but they’re each as much of a mystery as the first. Upon entering a door, the game switches abruptly to a side-scroller which features even worse graphics than the introduction.

  3. Oct 5, 2011 · With James Rolfe. In light of the Halloween season, the Nerd plays the Sega Genesis cult classic, Dark Castle. A virtually unplayable game with horrible controls, stage hazards and unspeakable game play.

    • (205)
    • Action, Comedy
    • James Rolfe
    • 2011-10-05
  4. It's Halloween again, and the Nerd spends it by reviewing both the Genesis and CD-i versions of Dark Castle. He soon shows off how horribly difficult the gam...

  5. Oct 5, 2011 · http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/721808 #retro #retrogaming #nes #snes #jamesrolfe #mikematei #atari #playthrough #gameplay #gamereview

    • 52 sec
    • 347.1K
    • Cinemassacre
  6. Dark Castle, a wonderful (lol) game for the Macintosh from 1986, was ported to the Sega Genesis by the amazing, never-fail-you developer/publisher, Electronic Arts (yes, THAT EA). And boy, did they make a turd. Terrible graphics, atrocious controls, and grating music make this an awful game to experience… casually.

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