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Nov 30, 2015 · 7 min read. November 30, 2015 - 11:25AM. “I CONSIDER myself to be agendered, so I’m neither male or female,” 27-year-old Cody says. Cody was born with a naturally occurring intersex variation. This means she has biological characteristics that are both female and male.
- Ginger Gorman
- Overview
- So what does intersex look like?
- What causes a baby to have intersex traits?
- ‘Treatment’ and things to consider
- Here’s what to do next
Babies who are intersex may have noticeable differences in their genitalia — but they also may not. Sometimes, intersex traits can involve internal organs or hormone production and are not apparent until puberty or at all.
It can be scary for new parents to hear anything unexpected from a doctor once their baby is born. But intersex traits occur naturally, and it’s not a disease or condition that affects a baby’s physical health.
When a baby is born, they’re assigned a biological sex — either male or female — based on their genitals.
You may have even learned your baby’s sex before birth in a similar way. Nothing between the legs on the ultrasound? “Congratulations — it’s a girl,” you hear. (Unless something is hidden from view, right?)
But it can actually be a bit more complicated than that.
Sometimes, a baby can have genitalia with some male characteristics and some female characteristics. And even deeper than external appearance, some people are born with a mix of male and female biological features (such as a uterus and testicles) that can’t be seen on the outside.
This is a popular question to Google, but it may not be the right one to ask.
Keep in mind that people who are intersex are our co-workers, friends, neighbors, and classmates — in other words, you’ve likely interacted with someone who is intersex and had no idea. That’s because they look like anyone else you meet.
Yes, sometimes the genitalia of a baby who has intersex traits is noticeably different. Here are some possibilities:
•a clitoris that’s larger than expected
•a penis that’s smaller than expected
•no vaginal opening
The term “intersex” doesn’t describe one particular thing. There are many different varieties — it’s a spectrum. They typically occur naturally.
If you’re a new parent trying to figure all this out, know that there’s nothing that you did or didn’t do to “make” your baby intersex.
For example, you may have learned in sex ed that we’re born with sex chromosomes. Generally, females have a pair of X chromosomes and males have one X and one Y chromosome.
But did you know that there are other variations? For example:
•XXY, or Klinefelter syndrome
•XYY syndrome
Intersex isn’t a disease, and it can’t be “cured.” So in that sense, there’s no treatment.
It’s possible to have health conditions that need to be addressed that relate to intersex anatomy. For example, if you have a uterus but no uterine opening, you may have painful menstrual cycles in which the blood doesn’t exit your body. In this case, you may want to have surgery to create an opening.
But this isn’t “treating intersex.” This is treating a closed uterus.
So what about your baby, who may not have typical genitalia?
For many parents who are told that their baby is intersex, fears about their child’s future acceptance, relationships, and self-esteem are front and center.
You may have questions like, “Will my child be able to go to sleepovers?” and “What if they’re made fun of in high school gym class locker rooms?”
These are natural worries that show your love and concern for your little one. But you don’t have to go it alone. There are resources available that can help.
In addition to a number of firsthand accounts from people who identify as intersex, helpful resources include:
•InterAct, which advocates for intersex youth
•the Dutch government’s guide for supporting your intersex child
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