Romesh Ranganathan
Jonathan
Search results
Episode Guide
- 6. S2 E6 Apr 5, 2024
- Courtney goes into labor; Jonathan tries to make it up to Claire; Spencer makes a romantic gesture.
- 5. S2 E5 Apr 5, 2024
- At Dan's baby shower, Jonathan tries to end things with Megan before Claire finds out.
- 4. S2 E4 Apr 5, 2024
- Claire forces Jonathan to lie to her parents about their breakup, a lie that goes way too far.
- Situational avoidance. This is the most common type of avoidance, says McKay in his book. Situational avoidance refers to staying away from people, places, things, or activities that feel activating to you.
- Cognitive avoidance. This type of avoidance is an inside job. Cognitive avoidance refers to actively turning your mind away from distressing thoughts or memories.
- Protective avoidance. Protective avoidance refers to actions in your physical environment that help you feel safer in your inner world, including: compulsive cleaning.
- Somatic avoidance. Somatic avoidance refers to steering clear from situations that elicit a physical response similar to anxiety or the stress response.
- Overview
- What Is Avoidance Coping?
- Other Types of Coping
- When Do People Use Avoidance Coping?
- Why Avoidance Coping Is Unhealthy
- The Link Between Avoidance Coping and Anxiety
- When Avoidance Coping Is Actually Healthy
- How to Avoid Avoidance Coping
Trending Videos
Procrastination, passive-aggressiveness, and rumination are examples of unhelpful coping mechanisms that we may consciously or unconsciously use to avoid tackling a tough issue or facing thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable.
Avoidance coping—also known as avoidant coping, avoidance behaviors, and escape coping—is a maladaptive form of coping in which a person changes their behavior to avoid thinking about, feeling, or doing difficult things.
Avoidance coping involves trying to avoid stressors rather than dealing with them.
Avoiding stress might seem like a great way to become less stressed, but this isn't necessarily the case. More often than not, confronting a problem or dealing with a stressor is the only way to effectively reduce the stress it causes.
We strive for "stress management" rather than "stress avoidance" because we can't always avoid stress, but we can manage it with effective coping techniques.
The other broad category of coping is called "active coping" or "approach coping." This type of coping addresses a problem directly as a means to alleviate stress.
For example, talking through problems that are causing stress in your relationship, reframing a situation to recognize the positives rather than only focusing on the negatives, or budgeting more carefully to minimize financial stress all demonstrate active coping.
People find themselves using avoidance coping instead of facing stress head-on for many reasons. Anxious people can be susceptible to avoidance coping because initially, it appears to be a way to avoid anxiety-provoking thoughts and situations.
But in the long run, an avoidance coping response to stress tends to exacerbate anxiety rather than alleviate it.
Avoidance coping is considered to be maladaptive (or unhealthy) because it often exacerbates stress without helping a person deal with the things that are causing them stress.
Procrastination is one example. If something that we have to do stressing us out, we might avoid doing it or even try to stop thinking about it. However, we typically don't stop thinking about whatever it is that needs to be done. Rather, we continue to feel stressed about it until it gets done.
Ultimately, we don't feel less stressed than we would have if we just tackled the task right away rather than putting it off. Instead, we stress about what needs to be done and become even more stressed as we inevitably rush to get it done.
The stress only piles on it we were ultimately unable to perform the task or job well because we had not left ourselves enough time. While some people work well with a deadline looming, it generally isn't the least stressful way to tackle something.
If you've ever heard the phrase, "What you resist, persists," you have been introduced to the basic reason that avoidance coping can increase anxiety. When people use this strategy to consciously or unconsciously avoid something that causes them anxiety, they usually create a situation where they need to face it more.
This outcome can be avoided through active coping but it can be difficult to do at first. For example, conflict might bring you anxiety. If you try to avoid conflict by sidestepping conversations that could contain elements of conflict, it might feel like you are steering clear of conflict and achieving low levels of stress.
Eventually, most of our relationships—be it with friends, loved ones, and coworkers—encounter disagreements, misunderstandings, or other conflict-laden situations that need to be addressed.
If you avoid having the conversations that are necessary to resolve a conflict in the early stages, it can snowball and bring greater levels of stress to the relationship. In some cases, unresolved conflict might even end a relationship.
If this happens, you might develop anxiety over any type of conflict, as your experience might have made you believe that even a small conflict can end a relationship (which might be true if a conflict was not resolved).
If you find yourself ending relationships rather than working through conflicts, you will likely end up with many broken relationships and a sense that you're not able to make relationships "work" in the long-term.
Some forms of passive coping, however, are not maladaptive and are actually healthy. These healthier forms of coping do not necessarily approach the problem directly but they do affect our response to the problem. Remember that it is healthy to practice techniques that help you feel calmer as you face a difficult situation—even if the techniques don't affect the situation directly.
Stress relief strategies like relaxation techniques and jogging can minimize the stress response when you face a problem and even increase your self-confidence. They can empower you to face your stressors more effectively.
However, just because something minimizes our stress in one particular moment does not mean that it is a healthy form of coping. For example, eating, shopping, or having an alcoholic drink might make us feel better in the moment but they have long-term consequences if they are overdone.
If we rely on these "strategies" for stress relief they can get out of control and create more stress. Instead, it's more effective to create healthy habits that build resilience.
If you find yourself using avoidance coping, look for opportunities to replace these behaviors with active coping strategies. If you've tended toward avoidance coping most of your life or at least are in the habit of using it, it can be hard to know how to stop. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you work on shedding the habit.
- Elizabeth Scott, Phd
- You avoid taking actions that trigger painful memories from the past. For example, you avoid asking questions in class because it reminds you of a time you asked a question and the teacher embarrassed you.
- You try to stay under the radar. People who have a sense of defectiveness often try to stay “under the radar.” They often fear things like being kicked of university, or their success feels fraudulent to them.
- You avoid reality-testing your thoughts. For example, you’re worried your child is on the autism spectrum but you put your head in the sand or just read stuff on the internet rather than seek a professional assessment.
- You try to avoid the potential for people being mad at you. For example, you avoid asking for things you want, in case the person gets mad at you for asking.
People also ask
What is avoidance behavior?
What is avoidance & why is it important?
Is avoidance a form of control?
Is avoidance coping a problem?
avoidance: [noun] an action of emptying, vacating, or clearing away. outlet.
Oct 15, 2021 · Avoidance provides temporary relief from anxiety, shame, and other uncomfortable feelings. This is a form of emotional control, and controlling thoughts and feelings can have unintended ...
Jun 15, 2021 · Avoidance behavior is a way to manage stress by avoiding difficult thoughts or feelings, and it can take a lot of forms. Maybe you buried yourself in Netflix binges to escape the stressful reality of life during the Covid-19 pandemic. Or perhaps you can’t be in public without a friend to make you feel comfortable.
Oct 26, 2022 · 1. Recognize avoidance. “The first step to resolving avoidance coping is recognizing that you’re doing it — noticing the subtle and more obvious ways you’re pulling away from your feelings ...
